Coach, coach thyself!

It was quite a fun morning at CFZ. Michael Kelley and I are actually getting along quite well, and I don’t feel the desire to punch him in the throat nearly as often as I usually do. This can’t last long…

I received a HUGE compliment from a certain someone this morning, and I’ve been smiling about it all day long. I would like to share, but I’ll have to ask that certain someone if this is acceptable. I did share with Michael Kelley if for no other reason than to make him feel inferior, if that’s possible.

Strength
Low Bar Back Squat
65% x 5; 120.5|120
75% x 5; 138|135
85% x 3; 157|160
95% x 2; 175|175
105% x 2 x 2 x 2; 194|190

All percentages are based on last weeks 5RM (This is taken directly from CFZ page. Michael, “week’s” is possessive, not plural.)

I based percentages on 185#. Michael Kelley said, “Lift 190 for your last reps.” I should’ve checked his math, as I would’ve lifted 195 instead of 190#.

I shared a rack with Woody, and I’d do so again, as we worked well together. All lifts felt good.

I need to focus more on myself and less on others. I know, right? I’m for too altruistic. I need to be much, much more selfish. This will be a challenge for me, but I’m willing to give it a try.

For whatever reason, I have gotten out of the habit of putting my thumb over the bar when doing back squats. What? When did this happen? I looked around me and noticed that most athletes were also putting thumbs under the bar. What? How did the coaches let this happen? As I only coach strength one day a week, Wednesdays, and we’ve been doing nothing but dead-lifts, it is quite obviously Michael Kelley’s fault.

Conditioning
“DR. PRON”
AMRAP 12
5 Pull-ups
7 Toes-2-Bar
9 Box Jumps

In celebration of Alex’s successful defense of his doctoral dissertation, Michael Kelley created a metcon consisting of Alex’s three favorite activities.

I contemplated not doing this metcon, and had communicated my desire to not to do so to Michael Kelley last night as well as this morning. He didn’t believe me. It was once again a big hot mess this morning, as there were a dozen in attendance. Uhm, we have about 7 or 8 boxes. Michael Kelley somehow acquired a 30” box for me, and I thought, “What the hell. Have fun with it!” And that’s what I did.

I completed all rounds of pull-ups unbroken, as well as the first three rounds of T2B. I remained on the bar for T2B for all rounds, although I only completed 3 T2B the last full round before having to drop from the bar. I completed all rounds of box jumps unbroken. However, I didn’t focus on quickly rebounding off of the floor until the third round, when it dawned on me that I wasn’t doing so. I blame Michael Kelley. Less playing with your junk, more coaching, please.

This was quite a challenging metcon, and I tried to lighten the mood – and share my misery. I kept an eye on the clock, and when just two and a half minutes had passed I yelled, “Only eight and a half f@cking minutes left, folks!” Later I yelled, “Six and a half minutes. We’re not even halfway f#cking there!” This continued until the hell was over.

I completed 9 rounds + 5 pull-ups + 1 T2B.

I am very tempted to say something in regard to apples and oranges, but I will bite my tongue instead.

It’s Monday, so it’s accessory day. I got to work at 5:40.

Sled Pulls
3 x 3, straight-leg, backwards, and dead-lift

I put 105# on the sled, and it felt very, very heavy. To make matters worse, I had to turn the sled around two times for each rep, as there was a group of people kicking around a soccer ball at the far end of the parking lot. Damn it. I did get a drink between rounds, as I desperately needed the rest.

As I was completing a round of dead-lifts pulls, with straps between my legs and hands very close to my junk, Nathanael said, “It sure would be nice if you had two hooks to hook the end of the straps on.” “Or a larger penis,” I replied.

L-Sits

I completed these on the pull-up bar rig as the 5:30ers were doing the metcon. I completed holds of 10, 10, 10, 15, 15, & 20 seconds. My abs (of steel) were on fire.

I had the pleasure of being sandwiched between the always delightful Nicole and Inez. Inez and I shared a moment, and Michael Kelley got very, very jealous. I’m not sure, though, if he was jealous of me or jealous of Inez.

Accessorize!

After a wonderful long weekend of vacationing, I worked out solo at CFZ yesterday evening. For perhaps the very last time, I checked in via Facebook. Almost immediately upon doing so, Michael Kelley posted, “Get out!” I replied, “Does this mean I’m fired? If so, this has been the best vacation ever.” I haven’t yet heard a definitive response, so I’ll assume that I’ve been fired.

Strength/Skill
Overhead squats and snatches

Form, form, form. I completed 5+ reps of snatches @ 65, 70, 75, and 80#, focusing on depth of squat, as this is something I’ve struggled with in the past. I recorded all lifts, and sent quite a few to Michael Kelley for his review. He says that he didn’t receive them until well after I sent them, and he blames the air. Yes, he blames the air. When he finally sent feedback, he began by focusing on all of the things that I did wrong. I quote: Arms bent a little early. Hips were not fully open. Arms shouldn’t bend til hips are fully open and you’ve shrugged. Try a snatch pull then, followed immediately by a snatch.

Wow, way to bring a man down…

His last message was: Depth and timing are much better.

Well, thank you, Michael Kelley, as that one positive comment more than made up for all of the negative remarks! Truly it did. I mean it. I’m now motivated to work on snatch form, and I can’t wait for the opportunity to do so. I mean it. Truly I do.

Conditioning
As fast as possible and with correct form complete 30 reps of the following:
GHD sit-ups
Walking lunges with 40# dumbbell in each hand; front leg vertical to floor, back knee touches floor
30” box jumps; both feet landing completely on box and no resting on floor
Unbroken double unders
Pull-ups

This was much more difficult than I thought it was going to be and much more difficult than it should have been.

I completed all reps of GHD sit-ups and walking lunges unbroken, and then things began to fall apart. For the most part, box jumps went well, although I had to redo 2 jumps as both feet did not land on box, i.e., my heels were off of the box. Uhm, double unders were a big hot mess, and it took me four attempts before I was able to complete 30 unbroken. Yes, four attempts. Worse still were pull-ups, as I completed in reps of 10, 5, 5, 5, 3, and 2. Huh? I also had to redo three pull-ups, as my chin did not go above the bar. Thus, a workout that should’ve taken me less than 6 minutes took my 7 minutes and 41 seconds to complete.

Fail.

I arrived at CFZ this morning at 5:45 and was kind enough to unlock the box, open the garage door, select the Pandora playlist, and turn on the fans, including the Big Ass Fan. Michael Kelley arrived at 5:55 and the first words he said to me were not “Good morning” or “Thank you”; instead his first words were “The fan doesn’t need to be turned on this high during the morning hours.” I replied, “Good morning, Michael Kelley, and you’re welcome.” He’s the best manager ever. Best. Manager. Ev. Er.

Warm up, mobility, blah, blah, blah.

Strength
Low Bar Back Squat
Work up to 5 reps, heavier than last week

My goal was to lift 185#.

There were far too many people in attendance this morning; thus, we were asked to share a rack. I offered to do so numerous times, yet no one took me up on my offer. Perhaps they thought I wasn’t sincere?

Here are, in order, the people (of the regulars) I would be more than happy to share a rack with and the reason why:

Michelle and Claire (tied) because they are both awesome
Lauren because she’s awesomely strong
Timmy because he’s Timmy
Thomas because I can’t think of a legitimate reason not to

Here are, in order, the people I would not be more than happy to share a rack with and the reason why:

Chad, John, Burt, and Alex because they are all too damn tall
Michael Kelley because he’s fat

I lifted 5 reps @ 155, 165, and 185, although the reps at 185 didn’t happen like I planned. I know, I know, I’ve done this before…

I thought I had placed 45, 15, and 5# plates on the bar for a total of 175#. I had mistakenly left a 10# plate on the left side of the bar. I felt no difference when lifting, and was surprised when Alex, Michelle, and others noticed that the bar was leaning to my left. Thus, I lifted 185# for my last, albeit, uneven set. I called it a day.

Michelle had earlier informed me that she had “called” me for partner glute ham raises, and I was delighted that she had. Nice progress, Michelle, even from just last week! We both did 3 sets of 8 reps. I focused on not merely pushing myself off of the mat, but instead continuing to engage my firmly and incredibly cute glutes and hamstrings.

Conditioning
10-min AMRAP
Power clean(s), 80% of 1RM
10 V-ups
Perform 1 power clean the first round, 2 the second, 3 the third, etc.

My 1RM for power clean is 145, so I put 115# on the bar. I (along with Alex) positioned myself at the far end of the box in front of the garage door. Just before we began, Michael Kelley said, “Make sure you’ve chosen a weight for the power cleans that’s challenging. You shouldn’t be able to do even three unbroken.” I looked at him and said, “I’m going to be doing many more than three unbroken.” I was lifting 90% of 1RM. Was I to have lifted 90 or even 100%?

This was a surprisingly fun workout, even though I had done V-ups just two days ago and I’m usually not very fond of power cleans.

Just after completing three unbroken power cleans, I made eye contact with Michael Kelley and said, “That’s three.” I did the same after rounds of four, five, and six, of course saying “Four”, “Five”, and “Six”. He happened to be watching me when I was doing the round of seven – as I failed the final lift. He smiled. There are no words to describe my thoughts and feelings regarding this behavior. Oh, wait, there are: You are an asshole, Michael Kelley. To make matters worse, I failed my seventh lift of the round of eight, and once again Michael Kelley smiled. To gain pleasure from my failure speaks of your character, Michael Kelley. Is it any wonder I hate you so?

The only positive thing I can say about you is that you were kind enough to remind me to push my hips back when I’m doing power cleans. I have this vivid mental image of you in my mind when I do power cleans, and as your ass is so big it’s difficult for me to distinguish when you’re pushing your hips back or merely standing upright. Also, given how huge your ass is, is it even necessary for you to push your hips back? I’m surprised you don’t fall on your ass more frequently. With that being said, I can only imagine that it doesn’t hurt when you fall on your ass. You probably bounce. Like Tigger.

I completed 8 rounds + 7 power cleans.

Michael Kelley and I exchanged sexts this afternoon regarding the possibility that I might coach a 5am session, ending in this exchange…

MK: You’re my #2
PP: Uhm, who’s #1?
MK: Me
PP: Makes sense. You’re my #7.
MK: Nice.
PP: You’ve gone up 1 spot.

Training for the 2014 Games has begun in earnest; thus, I arrived at CFZ at 5:30 tonight for my first accessory workout. My VFF (Very Fat Friend), Michael Kelley, was kind enough to share some programming with me.

Sled Pulls
3 rounds of pulling backwards facing toward and away from sled

This is the first time I’ve used this particularly type of sled, so Michael Kelley was kind enough to demonstrate. His belly jiggles like a bowlful of jelly when he did. I sometimes feel the urge to poke his belly.

Michael Kelley determined that the distance would be to the bushes by the sidewalk and back, roughly 50m.

I put a 45# plate on the sled, pulled it, and determined it was too light. Michael Kelley said, “Add a 25 pound plate.” He said this as I was adding a 45# plate for a total of 90#. This was fun, exhausting, and exhilarating! I enjoy trying new skills, and this was particularly enjoyable.

Michael Kelley then said, “Next is core. Do four rounds of 25 GHD sit-ups and 10 wall balls, using the 30 pound slam ball. No, wait, we’re doing ‘Fran’ tomorrow, so don’t do wall balls.” “Michael Kelley,” I said, “I was planning on resting tomorrow. I’m definitely not doing ‘Fran’.” He rolled it eyes as if to say, “You’re doing ‘Fran’.” He then said, “Do four rounds of 25 GHD sit-ups and 25 GHD back extensions.” So that’s what I did.

GHD Sit-ups
GHD Back Extensions
4 rounds of 25 reps

I did the first and last rounds of sit-ups and back extensions unbroken, and the second and third rounds in reps of 25 and 10. As the rounds were not timed, I didn’t push myself, and all 200 reps were good. Not a false story.

As  I was leaving Michael Kelley said, “Westside Barbell programs slide pulls on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Saturdays, so if you’re doing them tomorrow do at 60% of today’s weight.” I replied, “Good. I can do that instead of ‘Fran’.” He rolled his eyes yet again.

Just you wait, Michael Kelley. Just you wait.

Toes to bar? Again? Sheesh…

I was the first (surprise, surprise) to arrive at the box. I opened the garage door and turned on the less-than-big-ass-fan to let in some fresh air, and then added Calvin Harris to the Pandora playlist. As I knew what today’s workout entailed, I grabbed the attached Lacrosse balls, placed them beneath my lower back, and began my morning mobility ritual. I closed my eyes and was enjoying a moment of silence when I felt a sudden gravitational pull. This often occurs when Michael Kelley approaches. I opened my eyes to see him hovering above me.

MK: You bought a CrossFit Nittany tee shirt for Kristin.
PP: Yes, I did.

It appears that Michael Kelley expects me to buy him a shirt from whatever CrossFit I visit. Ha! Good luck with that, Michael Kelley.

In addition to yours truly, there were nine others in attendance at this morning’s 6am session. If any more people attend the 6am session I’m going to have to start going to another box. I do, however, like most of the people who attended, including Michelle, Lauren, Timmy, Burt, Jeff, Chad, John, and Alex. I’d also miss Claire as well as Heather and Paula (cough, cough).

Strength
Press
4X5 heavier than last week

PP: I didn’t attend last week, so how heavy should I go?
MK: What did you lift the last time we did presses?
PP: Just 90 pounds, but that was a deload week.
MK: Then lift 95 or 100.
PP: I’m going to lift 105.
MK: Why? Just lift 90 or 100.
PP: I’m going to lift 105.
MK: Thank you for pretending to seek my guidance. Thank you, too, for pretending to listen to me.
PP: Can you start over? I wasn’t listening.

I did a mere 2 warmup sets of 75 and 95, and then put 105# on the bar. I made sure to rest 2 minutes between sets, and successfully completed 4 sets of 5 reps @ 105#. The last press of both of the last two sets was a bit challenging, but not unmanageable. I still need to focus on tightening my abs so that my back doesn’t arch as much. I received no coaching and/or encouragement from anyone. Not a single person. No one. No. One.

Pull-ups
Maximum number of sets of 5 reps in 8 minutes

Uhm, I didn’t know until today that pull-ups were to be strict. What’s up with that? I set my goal to complete 9 rounds, i.e., 45 pull-ups. However, about 3 minutes into the workout, Michael Kelley said, “I’m changing it to six minutes. You’re halfway there.” Why, Michael Kelley, why? I completed 7 rounds for a total of 35 pull-ups. If I had two more minutes I’m sure I could’ve completed two more rounds. Why, Michael Kelley, why?

I briefly considered doing today’s conditioning as prescribed, but given my recent injury I didn’t want to push – or push jerk – things. After far too lengthy of a conversation with Michael Kelley, you know, because he bores me, I settled on substituting negative pushups for push jerks.

Conditioning
21-15-9 for time:
Push jerks 5RM Negative pushups
Toes to bar

I quickly set up two, 45# plates for pushups. I truly believe that Michael Kelley includes T2B in so many workouts because it’s something that he’s actually skilled at performing. Why don’t we ever do ring dips, Michael Kelley? Or skin the cats? Or muscle ups? Or back levers? We seldom run, either. Why not, Michael Kelley, why not?

This metcon was b-o-r-i-n-g, and I give it a 1.5. As we had already pressed (arms) and did pull-ups (arms), my arms (arms) were already shot, and I was only able to string together 11 T2B (arms). I completed in 4:50. I was tempted to take a nap, as I was so b-o-r-e-d.

Benchmark WOD “Cindy”

Jeff, Luke, and I will be visiting my mother this week, and will be leaving later this morning. I awakened at 3:30, obsessing about watering the lawn. I did so from 3:30 until 5:30, and then I (after unsuccessfully attempting to wake up Jeff and bring him with me) went to CFZ. As the temperature outside was only 70, I was able to open the garage door, turn on the fan, and work out in relative comfort.

I posted the following to my Facebook timeline: Getting my WOD in before, you know, someone posts a picture of their car thermometer and/or asks me, “Is it hot enough for you?” I’m thinking “Cindy”. The WOD, not my sister.

The last time I completed this WOD my score was 22+11.

I spent 25 minutes on mobility, and then prepared myself for the benchmark WOD. I completed the WOD at the pull-up station in front of the fan and facing the clock. I placed 5 stacks of 5 poker chips (each stack a different color) and my protein drink to my left, taped my hands, and turned up the speaker volume.

Benchmark WOD “Cindy”
20-minute AMRAP of the following:
5 pull-ups
10 pushups
15 air squats

My one and only goal was to complete 25 rounds. My tactics were the following:

  1. Begin at a comfortable pace
  2. Complete pull-ups and air squats unbroken
  3. Complete the first 10 rounds of pushups unbroken, and then complete remaining rounds in reps of 7 & 3
  4. Use the colored poker chips to easily determine number of completed rounds as well as modify pace if needed

I made two errors, although neither one cost me that much time. The first error occurred immediately after the very first round. I moved the first chip, stood up, and hit my head on the movable bar rack. I quickly removed the bar rack and continued. The second mistake was that I didn’t have the chalk nearby. As I didn’t want to waste any time, I didn’t chalk my hands one time during the workout. I’m glad that I’m taped them!

While not a mistake, I did begin at a rather slow pace. At the 10-minute mark I had completed 12 rounds & 3 pull-ups; thus, I knew I had to pick up the pace to achieve my goal.

I did ensure that my chin was well above the bar for each and every pull-up, that my chest and cheek touched the floor and my elbows locked at the top of each and every pushup, and that I completed air squats with full range of motion.

About those air squats… For whatever reason, I was having a difficult time using my arms in a coordinated fashion. Huh?

For one brief moment I thought that I would not be able to complete 25 rounds. I really had to push through the last round, and I finished my last air squat with 2 seconds to spare. Yes, I completed exactly 25 rounds – a new PR!

My new goal is to complete 26 or more rounds. In order to achieve this I will need to complete all rounds of pushups unbroken (which I could have possibly done today) and learn how to do butterfly kipping pull-ups. I wonder if my BVFFF, Michael Kelley, will help me learn how to do so. I’ll know if he responds to this post.

While I don’t record on the whiteboard, I don’t hesitate to record on the leader board. I moved Britt’s score to the fourth position and posted my own. (Hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings, Britt!)

Originality

Originality is merely unconscious plagiarism.

I’m in a pissy mood. As this occurs infrequently, I’m going to allow myself to be in such a mood. Indulge me. More in a moment.

This past Sunday afternoon I said to Jeff, “I’m going for a run.” He looked at me incredulously and replied, “You don’t run.” I said, “Seriously, I’m going to the American Tobacco trail and go for a run.” He still didn’t believe me, even though I changed into running shorts. He asked, “You’re just going to go for a run? You’re not going to do anything else other than run?” I replied, “I’m just going to go for a three- or four-mile run.”

And that’s what I did. And I thoroughly enjoyed myself! I didn’t even wear a watch. I ran on effort, taking one breath every fourth, third, and other step for miles 1 & 2, 3, and 4, respectively. In other words, I was sprinting at all out effort for the last mile. I got quite a few looks, but this may have been because I was shirtless. I didn’t want to stop running, yet I made myself do so. Perhaps I’ll run 5 miles next time!

Yesterday was a relatively easy day. Lal (www.easportsmassage.com) worked out many of the kinks and issue spots, and told me that my left shoulder had tightened up as a way of self-protection. Stupid self-protection. I stopped by CFZ prior to picking up Luke at Doggie Village for no other reason than to complete low bar back squats. I did warm up sets of 95 and 115, and then 3 sets of 5 reps of 135#. I recorded all sets. Lifts felt easy, as they should have.

Strength
Press, deload
2 warm-up sets
3×5 @ 75% last week’s weight

As I’ve only been doing presses for the past 2 weeks, it seemed pointless to deload; thus, I did not. I completed warm up reps of 45, 75, and 85, and then 3 sets of 5 reps of 100#.

Conditioning
5 Rounds, each for time
6/10 Pull-Ups
10 Dumbbell Thrusters
Rest 1 minute

Each round should be FAST. Scale the pull-ups to 6 reps to allow for unbroken reps, if 10 is (should be “are”) too much.

I chose 25# dumbbells, as I certainly didn’t want to use 30 and I knew 20 were going to be too light. TK evidently had his heart set on using the set of 25. Just as we were getting ready to begin, TK mumbled something under his breath intentionally loud enough for me to at least know that he was grumbling. Sheesh. I got so tired of his whining (i.e., passive-aggressiveness) that I finally exchanged my 25# for his 20# dumbbells, if for no other reason to stop the blathering. MK said something like, “It’s probably better that you use 20# dumbbells, blah, blah, blah.” I know what I’m capable of, and I was certainly capable of using 25# dumbbells, thank you very much. How does this story end? I was not the least bit challenged using 20# dumbbells.

I completed all rounds of 10 pull-ups and 10 dumbbell thrusters (surprise!) unbroken, in times of 31, 30, 29, 28, & 28 seconds; total time of 6:26 and work time of a mere 2:26. I barely broke a sweat, 1 minute was more than enough time for recovery, and again, I wasn’t challenged. Score = 2. I may very well go for a 5-mile run this evening.

We ended the day with a 5-min AMRAP of 20 lat pulls and 20 face pulls. I used a green band and completed 8 rounds + 20 lat pulls + 1 face pull.

I’m thinking about putting in a garage gym. What I have: plyo box, 20# med ball, rings, jumps ropes, dumbbells. What I need: bar, plates, rack/pull-up rig.

Dear World,

As I don’t constantly compare myself to you, please don’t constantly compare yourself to me.

Thank you,

Paul

“Chelsea” & Michelle

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Yesterday I coached the 6am, 5:15pm, and 6:30pm sessions at CFZ. I think back to my childhood and early adolescence when I was a gangly, scrawny little boy. If you would have told me then that I would not only be running long distances, lifting heavy weights, and performing gymnastic feats of strength, but that I would be instructing others how to do so, I would have laughed in your face. (I wouldn’t, however, have rolled my eyes like someone I know.) Me, a coach? I think I’ll go to my room and practice the clarinet. You don’t get to be first chair first clarinet without practicing.

I was generally pleased with the performance of athletes, more so with dead-lifts than with the met-con.

Many asides today, and here’s the first: Thomas, the not-at-all-identical twin brother of the one and only Michael Kelley, attended the 6am session. He’s been struggling with double unders, so I spent some quality time with him post-WOD. As I’ve said numerous times (and I hear Jack’s voice in my mind when I say this), slow is fast. You’re making progress, Thomas.

Jeff got his first double under, and it was during the WOD. I was observing the group, so I didn’t see the actual double under. He yelled (as he continued jumping rope), “Paul, Paul! I got a double under!” Immediately following the WOD he said, “Now show me how to string them together.” Ha!

Nathanael and Johanna (a married couple and new members) are two of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Their niece, Hannah, attended the session with them, although she didn’t do the WOD. She probably should have. I don’t know why kids like me so much, but they often do, and Hannah was no exception. She wrote her own name on the whiteboard as well as mine – followed by “is awesome”. She’s obviously a very good judge of character.

Of all of the athletes who completed yesterday’s WOD, I’m most proud of Johanna. She struggled on her last set of heavy dead-lifts, and barely got the first attempt off the floor before dropping the bar and shaking her head “no”. (I call this the “Thomas Kelley”.) She rested, and then failed on her second attempt as well. I could tell that she really wanted to successfully complete the last set, and that she was getting frustrated. Just before her third attempt, I said, “Use a mixed grip, Johanna. Your brain will know how to place your hands. Set your back. Roll the bar to your legs. Keep a neutral neck. Take a deep breath. Now lift!” She did. She did three times! You were spectacular, Johanna!

Other accomplishments: Kabool had the most explosive dead-lifts, Kristin finally kept her neck neutral, Nicole H. is mastering wall ball shots, Leah is overcoming some of her negative self-talk, and the list goes on and on.

But enough about everyone else – let’s talk about me!

While I didn’t work out prior to the 6am session, I did arrive at the box prior to the 5:15pm session to complete the requisite dead-lifts. After warming up, I lifted sets of 3 reps @ 285, 305, and 315# – a PR, and 95% of my current 1RM of 330#. And the lifts felt easy. I’m confident I can achieve a new dead-lift PR in the upcoming weeks.

I left the box at 7:40pm, arrived this morning at 5:50am, and Lauren and Michelle arrived shortly thereafter. Michelle was undecided as to what to do today, so I gently persuaded her to join me for the benchmark WOD “Chelsea”.

Every minute on the minute for 30 minutes:
5 pull-ups
10 pushups
15 air squats

The last time I did this WOD was at CFD almost a year ago. Back then I completed rounds in between 37 and 44 seconds. Today was an entirely different story…

My ideal goal was to complete all rounds unbroken, although it was more of an aspiration than a realistic goal – or so I thought.

Michelle was positioned to my left. I completed activities under the pull-up bar directly facing the clock so that I could keep track of and record rounds.

I completed the first round in 36 seconds, and thought, “Okay, that was fast, but I’m sure I’ll slow down.” Uhm, my first round was my slowest round. My times for the remaining 29 rounds were 34, 35, 34, 35, 34, 34, 34, 33, 33, 33, 34, 34, 34, 33, 34, 33, 33, 33, 33, 33, 33, 32, 32, 32, 31, 31, 31, 31, & 30! I got faster, not slower, and my last round was my fastest round!

I ensured that my chin was above the bar for every pull-up, that my chest and cheek touched the floor for every pushup (left cheek for odd and right cheek for even-numbered pushups, respectively), and that all squats were done with proper form.

The last time I did this WOD I made it through round 23 of pushups unbroken, and then fell apart. Not today. I did all 30 rounds of 10 pushups unbroken, as well as all rounds of pull-ups and air squats.

My total work time was 16:32.

Do I sound a bit excited? I am. Am I boasting a little? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Hannah thinks I’m awesome. She’s obviously a very good judge of character.

Michelle did and awesome job, completing 23 rounds! (If you are unable to complete a round within 60 seconds, you complete that round, and then wait until the top of the next minute to begin again.) There were many times when she completed her last of 15 air squats with less than 5 seconds remaining before the start of the next round. She nonetheless ran to the pull-up station to start to begin. After the WOD I said, “I got more rest than you did, Michelle, as I had more time between rounds to catch my breath.” She replied, “Yes, but I got longer periods of rest when I wasn’t able to complete a round in a minute.”

She was kind enough to pose with me for a post-WOD picture. (Thanks for taking, Lauren!)

For perspective, that’s 150 pull-ups, 300 pushups, and 450 air squats.

” “

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I stopped by Zeal Friday evening before picking up Luke from Doggie Village, and was persuaded to lift since i hadn’t done any “strength” training — or so sayeth MK.

Front Squat
3 reps @ 45, 55, & 65% | 145, 155, & 165#
FS felt gooood.
High Bar Back Squat
20 reps @ 50 – 60%
MK insisted that I lift my bodyweight, 145, which is 66% of 1RM. Again, lifts felt gooood, and I was able to do all 20 unbroken and quickly.
I attended the 9:30 & coached the 10:30 session at Zeal this morning. We first practiced handstands, although I didn’t get an opportunity to do so as I assisted MK with coaching. That’ll be $5, MK.
100 double unders
10 rnds of 10 pull-ups & 10 burpee box jumps
I wanted to use 30″ box, but MK insisted that I use 24″ so that I could go quickly. Whatevs. My goal was to finish. Yes, just finish. While everyone else in the session completed as a partner WOD, I went solo. No rest for me, bitches.
There were 16 in attendance. I offered to wait until 10:30 and have MK coach that session, but he wouldn’t. Thus, it was one very large cluster fiesta. I, like most everyone else, had to navigate around folks moving from pull-ups to burpee box jumps and burpee box jumps to pull-ups. There were quite a few times when someone was either resting at or using the pull-up station that I had claimed. There were also quite a few times when I either hit someone as I was doing burpees or they ran into me as they were going past me. Cluster. Fiesta.
I was the first to complete double unders (outside, I might add, at MK’s insistence). I completed the first 7 rnds of pull-ups unbroken, and the remaining 3 rnds in reps of 7, 2, & 1 — to ensure that my chin went above the bar every rep. (*cough)
I completed all rnds of burpee box jumps unbroken, with the exception of 1 missed jump due to lack of focus.
Total time = 21:20
MK ignores me when I WOD, and provides no encouragement. For that reason, I’m not speaking to him. Well, for that reason and also because he’s fat.
The Community WOD was 10-min AMRAP of 100m run, 5 pull-ups, 5 sit-ups, & 5 push press. You crushed it, Kristin!

Just the two of us…

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Stephanie led the 6am session and CFKoP. I’m getting to know more and more of the regulars, and I’m feeling more and more at home each visit. It’s a great box! One of the women who were at the Tuesday session complimented me on my bear crawling abilities. Ha! Stephanie referred to me as a gymnast. Ha!

Today’s WOD was based on a team WOD held at the Regionals, and was to have been a 2-man, 2-woman team. As there weren’t an equal number of women or a multiple of 4, John and I were a team of one, “Just the Two of Us”.

Stephanie led us through a team partner warmup consisting of crab walks, walking planks, backwards running, etc. We then set up and strategized for the WOD. She then began to explain the requirements of the WOD, starting with pull-ups, asking me to demonstrate.

40 Pull-ups — while partner holds 225 pounds loaded on a barbell
60 Wall ball shots (20lbs to a 10 ‘ target) — while partner holds chin over bar
100′ Buddy and 100lb Dumbbell carry
40 Box jumps, alternating on a 24″ box
100′ Buddy and 100lb Dumbbell carry 
2 burpees

John is a very nice, strong young man, well over 6’ and weighing 225#.

As soon as John had dead-lifted 225# and was holding the bar, I began pull-ups, quickly completing 25 (if I’m recalling correctly). At one point I thought about doing all of the pull-ups, but reconsidered as I didn’t want to seem like a douche bag. I dropped from the bar, dead-lifted 225#, and John did 5 pull-ups very quickly and then began to struggle. He completed 8 or 9, and I finished out the set.

John started with wall ball shots. The hardest part of the WOD was holding chin above the bar. John and I worked very well together, usually completing 5 to 8 wall ball shots before the other dropped from the bar.

I had decided ahead of time that I would not carry a dumbbell, but would instead only carry John, as 225# is more than enough for me to carry for 100’. Yes? Yes. I did make sure to at least run with him on my back.

The 40 alternating box jumps went very fast, as we quickly established a rhythm.

John easily carried both me and a 100# dumbbell. He’s a beast!

We finished with 2 burpees each, although I think we were supposed to have only done 1 each.

Our time was 8:45. This was much fun – but I didn’t break a sweat! I might have to do another double. Yes?

Paul > Timmy (Not THAT Timmy, Lauren.)

Yup, I did a double. This morning’s workout of dead-lifts and running just felt too easy – and didn’t last nearly long enough. I miss the programming at CFZ. Don’t tell Michael Kelley. I hate him. Tell him that.

I once again attended a session at CFConshy. I thought it started at 5:30, so I arrived at 5:25 only to discover that sessions were held at 5, 6, & 7. I waited for the 6 session and had an opportunity to watch the 5ers complete the WOD.

There seems to be a resident douche bag at every CrossFit. After completing the WOD, Timmy (not his real name) looked at the times on the board and said, “I’m sure I had the fastest time. Oh, wait, who’s John? No matter, if I had completed the WOD at noon when he did, my time would have been 20 seconds faster and I would have beat him. I’m at my peak at noon.” Uhm, I’ve heard of age-graded scores, but not time of day-graded scores. He walked around the box with an air of superiority, chest held high, preening hair, and bragging about his skills.

I determined then and there that his ass would be mine.

Nate, who I worked out with my last visit, and another gentleman, whose name I can’t remember, were attempting to do muscle-ups. I gave them some pointers, and both of them almost got one. Not Nate asked, “Are you a gymnast?” I laughed out loud. “No,” I replied. He said, “You sound like one. You gave great direction, and your suggestions were very helpful. It’s obvious you know what you’re talking about. And that you can train.” Awh, shucks!

Lori led the 6pm session, and we began with kipping practice, walk-outs, lunge stretches, and jumping jacks. She then went over form for pull-ups and air squats.

3 rounds for time
Run 400m
3 rounds of 5 pull-ups, 10 pushups, & 15 air squats
Rest 1 minute between rounds; total time includes 2 minutes of rest

I’ve done both “Cindy” and “Running Cindy”, and this was a combination of both.

The clock started, and Vlad (one of the coaches) led us through the first 400m. I took the lead, but Nate was determined to pass me. He did, and finished about 25m ahead of me. No worries, for as I’ve often said, “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.” I completed the first round unbroken, including pushups. Another young man, Koop, was neck and neck with me the first round, and finished just 2 or 3 seconds behind me. I was somewhat worried. Yes, I’ll admit it.  

I was the first to start the second 400m run, and Koop was determined to pass me. It didn’t bother me in the least, and he finished 10m or so ahead of me. As my back was to him most of the time, I couldn’t really see him do anything but pull-ups, and he was struggling just a bit on those. I completed all rounds of pull-ups and air squats unbroken, as well as the first 2 rounds of pushups. I completed the last round in reps of 6 & 4.

I finished well ahead of Koop, and was thus the first person to start and finish the last 400m, finishing 100m or more ahead of him. I once again completed all rounds of pull-ups and air squats unbroken, and pushups unbroken the first round, in reps of 5, 3, & 2 the second round, and reps of 4, 3, 2, & 1 the last round. Yes, my shoulders were smoked. My last round of air squats had to be my fastest round!

Things to note: Vlad kneeled on the floor beside me during my first rounds of pushups to ensure that my chest and thighs touched the floor. As usual, I touched my cheek to the floor each and every rep as well. As my back was to everyone for all activities put pull-ups, it was very difficult to gauge how I was doing compared to my fellow CFers. Finally, this was quite a challenging WOD, particularly after having run this morning. As much as I love running, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it typically is. That surprised me.

I completed the WOD in 12:12, the fastest time that had yet been posted. Times that had been posted were 12:40 and 12:58 – by Timmy. So, even with his 20-second time of day-graded score, I still beat him by 27 seconds.

We finished the day with 3 rounds of 90 second total of 30 seconds of toe touches, 30 seconds of leg raises, 30 seconds of V-ups, and 30 seconds of rest. That. Was. Tough.