Wonderful World

I am holding out hope that the world is finally changing for the better. Yesterday’s SCOTUS ruling was welcome and long overdue.

10 rounds
100m row + 5 strict pushups + 1 C2B strict pull-up
5 rounds
100m row + 10 strict pushups + 2 C2B strict pull-ups
1 round each of
100m row + 15, 20, 25, 30, & 35 strict pushups + 3, 4, 5, 6, & 7 C2B strict pull-ups

I like workouts that get progressively more difficult. This was just that kind of workout.

5 SDHPs @ 100#
Sprint 10m; walk to start for recovery

30 RFT
KB pushup alternating arm + Russian KBS + 15m sprint + run backwards 15m; begin with L & R arms odd and even # rounds, respectively

10 unbroken clapping pushups
Sprint 10m
Walk to start for recovery

10 rounds | Plate pushup + plate press + plate squat + box jump, 27″ (place plate on box) @ 45#
9 rounds | 2 plate pushups + 2 plate presses + 2 plate squats + 2 box jumps
8 rounds | 3 plate pushups + 3 plate presses + 3 plate squats + 3 box jumps
7 rounds | 4 plate pushups + 4 plate presses + 4 plate squats + 4 box jumps
6 rounds | 5 plate pushups + 5 plate presses + 5 plate squats + 5 box jumps

I’ve just about removed all of the toxic people from my life, although there are a few “mildly” (the term Jeff uses) racist family members. Aaaaaand some not so mildly racist family member that I don’t at all communicate with.

I would like to see EVERY monument removed as well as every military base, city, street, etc. renamed. Glee lasted longer than the Confederacy. A confederate flag isn’t a sign of heritage, it’s an homage to a group of people who owned slaves, who went to war to keep slaves, and who would still like to own slaves.

The CrossFit fallout has grown silent. I have, however, been keeping track of which boxes have and have not disaffiliated. CrossFit is in need of new leadership, anti-racist leadership, and likely a new fucking name.

Whilst failing at math, as was still a very good high school student, excelling in English, science, and (of course) music. My GPA was certainly high enough to qualify for the National Honor Society. My first eligibility was when I was a Junior. But I wasn’t given the award. A trusted teacher took me aside and said that one of the teachers stated that “Paul marched to the beat of a different drummer.” Translation: Paul is gay, and therefore not eligible for the National Honor Society.

To be honest, I couldn’t care less. I had more important things to consider than becoming a member of a group that, well, didn’t resonate with me. Why not? Because I had already been inducted into the Modern Music Masters. And I had a boyfriend. Boom.

I was made a member of the National Honor Society my senior year. I learned that some of my teachers stood up for me and demanded that I be granted membership.

Throughout my life I’ve always had supporters, and most of them have been teachers.


The past two weeks have been, in a word, overwhelming. I’ve experienced deep despair and utter elation. Despair at the way POC are treated and elation at the enormous peaceful protests demonstrating support.

Shit has got to change. And it’s finally beginning to happen. And it only took us 400 years.

And there’s the shitshow that is Glassman. I am utterly disgusted by his remarks as well as his lack of these three words: black lives matter. I’m convinced he watches Fox News and ONLY Fox News. I’m glad that I no longer own a box. If I did, I would disaffiliate immediately. Some boxes are beginning to do just that.

It is beyond my level of comprehension how anyone with even a modicum of morality could support that travesty currently cowering in the baby gate surrounding his residence. Lying sack of shit.

Whew, there’s so much more to say, but instead I’ll record a few recent workouts. Uhm, those that I can recall.

30 RFT
10 jumping air squats + fast 10m sprint; walk to start for recovery

20 RFT
10 strict pushups + fast 10m sprint; walk to start for recovery

30 RFT
5 clapping pushups + fast 10m sprint; walk to start for recovery

For any workout with 10 sprints, I ensured I took a breath every other step. I ended up sprinting about 25m each round, as I also ensured that I ran through the finish line.

It appears that I can easily recall workouts that include running.

11 RFT
Wall crawl
Wall-facing HSPU
11 tRump (i.e., Russian) KB swings, 60#

45 RFT
Strict L-sit C2B pull-up
Strict C2B pull-up
15 unbroken double unders
Strict HRPU
Strict HSPU

25 RFT
4 “rotating” box jumps
5 DLs @ 205#

16 RFT
Bike 400m
11 V-ups
Run 400m

25 RFT
Strict pushup + HRPU + clapping PU + strict PU
5 air squats
Slow & strict C2B pull-up + strict pull-up

9 WBS (20# & 10′)
3 floor presses @ 155#
Run 200m

There were many more workouts that I doubt I’ll ever be able to recall.


It’s Pride month.

I was 19 or 20 when I attended my first Pride celebration that was held, if memory serves, in Pittsburgh, PA. Or somewhere in northern WV. Anywho…

It was incredible being around so many like minded people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and orientations. It was the late 80s, so BIG hair and short-shorts were also in fashion, so there’s that.

What I recall vividly is using the urinal, as it was just a long trough along a wall of the restroom. I had just unzipped when a rather gorgeous man entered and positioned himself beside me, and yes, there was more than enough room for him to allow adequate space between the two of us. Uhm, he chose not to.

And then he glanced down at my penis. Noticing that he did so, I looked toward him. He made eye contact, smiled, and said “Nice.”

At the was the moment that I became pee shy. That moment right there. I have not been able to pee in front of anyone other than my husband (and that’s very infrequent) since that very moment.


The asshole needs to be banned from all social media. There, I said it. Lies, lies, lies…

Wednesday, May 27

11 RFT
10c fast row
5 unbroken BP @ 135

Just what I needed.

Thursday, May 28

81 RFT
Strict C2B pull-up
Box jump, 24″
Sprint 10m (5m up and back)
5 burpee + twisting jump over barbell
5 DL @ 155#

I worked continuously throughout both workouts, and it was just what I needed. Average heart rate was 155 and 147 for parts 1 and 2, respectively.

I can’t stop thinking about the pervasive racism that exists in our country, and how the idiot in chief exacerbates the situation. I’m sad, angry, overwhelmed, and a whole plethora of other emotions. And now they are tear gassing and shooting rubber bullets at protesters in Minneapolis. Uhm, but armed protesters were allowed into the MI capitol. Uhm, and what’s the one distinguishing factor among the two groups? JFC.

Another CrossFit story…

I visited yet another box in NJ, and was made to feel anything but welcome. I was basically ignored by the members and the coach. Anywho, the metcon was a partner WOD, and is often the case folks were allowed to choose their partners. Everyone had partnered up but two of us, a young man (who informed me that it was his first week as a member of the box) and me. As I can’t recall his name, let’s call him James. James was well over 6 feet and weighed well over 225 pounds.

The metcon included partner carries. The coach said, “James, you two don’t have to do the workout Rx, as I can’t imagine that he’s (pointing to me) going to be able to carry you.” I didn’t say a word, but instead asked James to extend his right arm. I grabbed him by the wrist, squatted, and placed him on my shoulder. The coach said, “Okay, but I doubt you’ll be able to carry him.” I sprinted to the other end of the box.

And guess what else? James and I posted the fastest time for the workout and we did all rounds as prescribed. Don’t underestimate someone based on their appearance.

And don’t fucking judge someone based on their race.

Runnin’ and burpees!

Monday, May 25

Memorial Day WOD
Cash in
21 strict L-sit C2B pull-ups
21 strict HSPUs
Run 5K
Complete 6-count burpee after 5-10-15-20-25-20-15-10-5-10-15-20-25… steps per leg
For second half end burpee with jump and twist 180 degree jump to left and then to right

Yup, up and down and up and down and up and down (you get the picture) the burpee ladder. This was tough. And a very good workout. I have no idea how many burpees I completed, but ’twas a shit-ton.

Tuesday, May 26

Every 33 seconds for 30 rounds*
2 strict ring dips + 2 strict HPSUs
2 strict HSPUs + 2 deadlifts @ 190#
2 DL + 2 ring dips

Repeat sequence
* Complete 1 burpee at the start of rounds 7-12; complete a burpee at the start of each activity for rounds 13-18; complete 2 burpees at start of rounds 19-24; complete 2 burpees at start and 1 burpee before 2nd activity for remaining rounds
30-second plank hold
9 power TNG power snatches

Still staying at home. Still avoiding physical contact with others. Still pissed off at POS. Biden wearing a mask should be celebrate and not ridiculed. Twitter should do more than include fact-check.


Spending a few days at the Carolina Beach townhouse. It’s hot and humid!

A few workouts in no chronological order.

Run 1 mile
Complete burpee after 10 steps/leg first half
Complete burpee + 2 180 degree twists after 10 steps/leg second half

I have no idea how many burpees I completed, but it felt like a shit-ton. And I loved every minute of it.

EMOTM for 10
5 strict K2E
3 push presses

1-2-3-4-5 strict C2B pull-ups
10 weighted air squats, 25#

A total of 75 pull-ups and 250 squats. Boom.

R-arm DB pushups + DB row + DB thruster + DB box step
10m sprint forward + 10m sprint backward X 5 (100m total)
L-arm DB pushups + DB row + DB thruster + DB box step
10m sprint forward + 10m sprint backward X 5 (100m total)

Absolutely exhausting.

10 RFT
10 Abmat situps
10 unbroken double unders

Fast and furious.

I’ve made TWO strawberry and rhubarb pies. TWO PIES!

It is an absolute shitshow in CB in regard to social distancing and wearing face masks in public. We stopped by the local Harris Teeter and it was if there wasn’t a global pandemic. And who is it that only females will wear a mask? Does it make you more masculine if you, you know, kill people? I just don’t get it.

There are some coaches who truly influenced who I am as a (former) CrossFitter, and perhaps the best coach I had was JW. So much so that every time I do double unders I think of him, as he advised me to start double unders with, uhm, a double under!

Don’t get me started…

As is often the case, I haven’t blogged in days. And that’s okay. I also rested yesterday. And that’s more than okay.

3, 2, & 1-count dead hang chest to bar pull-ups, mixing grip each round

15 LBH
3 floor presses, beginning @ 135# and increasing weight 5# each round
3, 2, & 2-count dead hang chest to bar pull-ups

15 LBH
3 floor presses, beginning @ 150# and increasing weight 5# each round
3, 3, & 2-count dead hang chest to bar pull-ups

15 LBH
3 floor presses, beginning @ 150# and increasing weight 5# each round
3, 3, & 3-count dead hang chest to bar pull-ups

15 LBH
1 floor press beginning @ 165# and increasing weight 5# each round

Sounds complicated, I know. For pull-ups, count of “one-one thousand + C2B + two-one thousand + C2B + one-one thousand C2B.” For last round all three C2B pull-ups began with 3-count dead hang.

Left, right, and both palms forward for rounds 1, 2, and 3, respectively.

15 RFT
7 HPS @ 75#
Sprint 10m
Wall-facing HSPU (with incline walk from driveway to fence)
Spint 10m
7 burpees
Sprint 20m

I did the following workout this morning (May 21) whilst at CB.

3 strict C2B pull-ups
2 strict HSPU
3 DL
25 LBH
1-2-3…9-10-11 strict & unbroken ring pushups
2-4-6…18-20-22 unbroken Abmat situps

Hot and humid, so I was a sweaty mess.

A number of years ago, I visited a CrossFit in northern NJ. As was most often the case, coaches and members ignored me prior to the start of the workout, i.e, no one greeted me or made me feel welcome.

The metcon was 21-15-9 225# deadlifts and pull-ups. I warmed up my the deadlift and had 225# on the barbell. The coach approached me and said, “Lower the weight. That’s too heavy for that many reps, and only the elites will be deadlifting 225 pounds.” “I can deadlift 225 pounds for 45 reps,” I replied. “Then show me 10 reps.” I did, completing them fast, unbroken, and with proper form. “Replace the 45s with a 25 and two 10s, and be ready to drop the weight if I instruct you to do so,” the coach said. Okay, then, I did as I was told. He then said, “You can substitute ring rows for pull-ups or use a band.” “I don’t need a band for pull-ups.” You guessed it; he replied, “Then show me 10 pull-ups.” I did.

The metcon began, and I was the first to finish. And the coach watched me like a hawk. Oh, not only was I the first to finish, it was the last class of the day so I was also at the top of the leaderboard for the entire day.

Did the coach say kind or congratulatory words to me? Fuck, no. He was visibly upset, as I posted a faster time than the elite athletes. Including him.

I’m very happy that I no longer own a CrossFit, because I don’t like what I’m seeing going on right now. Specifically, the call to sign a petition to open local boxes. The argument is that class size would be limited, equipment would be cleaned, and there would be little risk for exposure.

I call bullshit. First, CrossFit is group exercise, not usually individuals exercising alone. Second, I couldn’t get seasoned athletes to listen to requirements for the workout, let alone take turns going to the plates to load up the bar, keeping a distance of at least 6′ apart, and cleaning up after themselves. And don’t get me started on the cleanliness of the restrooms. I vomit a little in my mouth when I think of the bathroom door handles.

And I kept a clean box. I attended many that were, in a word, filthy. I contacted MRSA after scraping my leg on a plyometric box at a CrossFit. MRSA. That’s some serious shit, folks.

I also don’t think 6′ is far enough apart, as when you work out you tend to violently exhale and expel all sorts of shit. Will running not be included in a workout? If so, how do I ensure that I keep proper distance from all other runners? What if I’d like to pass someone, but there isn’t enough space to do so? And I’d like to see people say 6′ apart when doing pull-ups, rope climbs, wall ball shots, etc. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

And you won’t be able to give each other the dreaded high five. Or a slap on the ass. Or a hug.

Most importantly, we all should know by now that you can be asymptotic and transmit the virus to others who can then transit the virus to friends and family members. I don’t want to even imagine that I would put the desire to attend a session over the life of a member or a member’s family and friends.

Many will disagree with my sentiments. You’re entitled to your opinions, and I’m entitled to mine. Just be sure to post your opinion on your own damn blog.

Mask it or casket

Again, I have a difficult time recalling workouts.

Friday, May 15

5 strict ring dips + leg raise to L-sit
5 parallel (feet on box) strict ring rows
5 per leg step ups + opposite leg high knee

Surprisingly challenging, and definitely an ab workout. I completed all rounds in unbroken reps, and believe me when I say that the ring rows got challenging the final rounds.

I had completed 10 rounds at the halfway mark, and was convinced that I wouldn’t complete a total of 20. But I did, and even had enough time to complete a round of 5 dips and raises and 2 ring rows. I’m just that fucking awesome.

I used to hate, hate, hate, watching people cheat at ring rows. How did they do so? By not keeping a tight core, i.e., bending at the waist and even bouncing their asses off of the floor like kipping. But, you know, it’s much more important to post the most rounds on the whiteboard. Who cares about proper form, avoiding injury, or a level playing field? Oh, this happened at boxes I attended and not at CFS when I still owned it.

Going on.

Saturday, May 16

It’s Jeff’s birthday, so we began our day by taking Luke for a walk around Carrier Park. This was Jeff’s desire, as he thought it unlikely that there would be many people about and about at 7:30. There were, and of the 30 people we encountered only 3 were wearing masks. Idiots. Let me say that again: fucking idiots.

Mask it or casket. It’s that simple.

I made a dozen cinnamon and raisin rolls, and they were delicious. Jeff asked me not to share, so I won’t be doing so.

21 rounds
1 cluster (95#) + 50m sprint
2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 thrusters (starting with cluster) + 50m sprint

That’s a total of 75 thrusters, and I hate thrusters.

I then finished making French baguettes (delicious!) and Jeff and I went for a 10-mile bike ride. The last few miles were on the greenway, and once again people were fucking idiots. We were the only people wearing masks, and there were far too many people not practicing social distancing. Hey, idiots, how about if you set up your picnic blanket at least 6 feet away from the trail?!

I’ve been working out solo for more than 3 years now, and I couldn’t be happier doing so.


I had been CrossFitting for just a couple of months but had mastered the handstand pushup. I was, however, struggling with deadlifting, as my legs back then weren’t nearly as strong as they are now.

“Diane” (21-15-9 HSPUs and 225# deadlifts) was programmed. I put 185 on the barbell, knowING that even that would be a struggle. Just before the workout began the coach (whose first name began with “D”) approached me and asked why I only had 185 on the barbell. “Uhm, because 225 is my 1 rep max and this is 45 reps.” “Put 225 on the bar,” he insisted. “I’m not comfortable with that weight,” I replied. “Then I won’t let you do handstand pushups. If you’re strong enough to do handstand pushups then your strong enough to deadlift 225 pounds,” he said rather snidely.

So I put 225 on the barbell. And I completed each and every rep and each and every rep felt like a 1 rep max attempt. D watched me like a hawk, I suppose to ensure that I didn’t cheat. I. Don’t. Cheat.

At the end of the workout D once again approached me and said, “See what’s it like to not have your name at the top of the leader board?” The fucker thought he was teaching me a lesson. His only accomplishment was demonstrating what a shitty coach he was. I could’ve easily hurt myself. I suppose, though, that D thought that was also a lesson I needed to learn.

Oh, I did everything I could to not attend any sessions that he coached.

Believe me when I tell you, folks, D was just one of many shitty CrossFit coaches that I had the displeasure of being subjected to. I’ll go on the record and say that I had more shitty than good coaches during my time as a CrossFitter. (Jack, if you’re reading this you were not a shitty coach, and were truly one of the best coaches I had. And thanks!)

Biking Karen

I haven’t blogged in quite a few days, so this may be a hot mess.

Jeff and I spent a few days at Carolina Beach, where folks are idiots. It was if there was no pandemic, i.e., very few people wearing face masks in public, complete disregard for social distancing, etc. The one exception was early-morning walks on the beach, as few people were out and about and there was more than enough room for the three of us to make a wide berth around people.

I was both shell-shocked and not the least bit surprised by the lynching of Ahmaud Arbery. Yes, lynching. I included a workout whilst at CB that included running, and I thought about many things, including racism, oppression, white privilege, and that fucking idiot it chief. It is beyond my level of comprehension how someone can think that any race is superior. Or gender, or sexual orientation, or ability.

35-30-25-20-15-10-5 Russian KBS, 44#
Run “around the block” after each round

Is there hope? The townhouse directly across from ours used to fly a flag, and you know the one I’m talking about. I got to exercise my middle fingers each time I glanced at said flat. The residents are now flying an American flag. However, another townhouse just three doors down from ours flies a Confederate flag. Uhm, and I witnessed the owner (driving a Hummer, of course) LOUDLY playing rap music. Rap music performed by an African American artist. WTF? It gets better. I then witnessed a young man, probably in his late teens or early twenties, who resides in the townhouse entertaining a couple of what I assume were his African American friends. They were playing basketball in the driveway. With the Confederate flag flying for all to see. WTAF?

10 rounds
1 45# plate pushup (rep = tricep + r decline + l decline pushups)
3 plate presses
3 BS with plate
3 box jumps on plate (27″)
5 rounds
2 45# plate pushups
6 plate presses
6 BS with plate
6 box jumps on plate (27″)

Uhm, I can’t recall the specifics of another workout that I did, but I know that the end of each of the 55 rounds included a strict HSPU ending with freestanding handstand. I even completed quite a few HSPUs without my heels touching the wall during the ascent. I’ve significantly improved, and this is likely because of the practicing wall-facing HSPU. I’ve found my center of gravity!

I’ve also significantly improved my piano playing. Yup, there’s something to be said for having the time and commitment to practice. Much like exercising, I always play better when I warm up first.

Things I’ve baked since last posting: strawberry-rhubarb pie, lemon-ohs, and thin mints. Thin mints!

Monday, May 11
Every 45 seconds for 35 rounds
3 kipping pull-ups
9 heel raise air squats

Tuesday, May 12
15 RFT
Bike 400m
10 unbroken WBS, 20# & 10′

To disassociate from the awfulness that is WBS, I inhaled at bottom of squat and loudly exhaled when WB hit target.


I am musical, but I don’t have a pleasant singing voice. I can sing on key, but that’s about it. There, I said it. No one in my family sings well. My mother likes to sing but is often in a key of her own. I can’t recall ever hearing my father sing, although he liked to whistle.

I was in 1st grade and vividly recall preparing for an assembly to be performed at St. Joseph’s. Sister Roberta Ann had us all singing and said, “Something doesn’t sound right. Paul, don’t sing this time.” I was mortified, but did as I was told. As soon as everyone finished the song she said, “Yes, that was the problem. Paul, just move your lips and pretend to sing.”

I was never physically accosted by a nun, but was occasionally the recipient of emotional abuse.



Yup, I renewed WordPress for yet another year. Whew.

Wednesday, May 6

I had a call with a client at 10, so took Luke for a walk and then packed for trip to CB. I almost rested, but the weather was too nice to not work out outside.

10 RFT
5 DL, 185#
15 Abmat situps
25 double unders

Unbroken reps, yo.

Thursday, May 7

Every 45 seconds for 50 rounds
Strict C2B regular grip pull-up + strict T2B + strict K2E
Strict burpee plate press, 45#
Strict HSPU ending with 2+-second freestanding handstand

This was, for lack of a better word, fun! The focus was on accuracy.

Practicing wall-facing HSPUs has truly helped me find my center of gravity, and there were quite a few HSPUs where, after my head touched the mat, my heels didn’t even graze the wall and I was still able to old handstand. I smiled at the end of many rounds. Most rounds took between 30 and 35 seconds, depending upon how long I held handstand.

10 RFT
Sprint 5m
Forward roll
5 air squats
Sprint 10m (5m up and back)
5-second headstand
Forward roll
Sprint 5m

No rest during the workout!


As a child, I was very fearful of falling through the cracks between the boards of foot bridges. You read that correctly. Granted, I was scrawny, so in my mind I saw this as a possibility. I would cross bridges laterally, i.e., I would turn and face the railing, place one foot completely on a board and then gently place the other foot on the same board, either in front of or behind (obviously, folks) the foot already solidly balanced on board. Lather, rinse, repeat. It took me a very long time to cross a foot bridge.


Five Miles

Monday, May 4

10 Rounds Not For Time
1-min weighted plank hold, 55#
Up to 10 floor presses, beginning at 75# and increasing weight 10# each round

That’s a shit-ton of floor presses, and I was only able to complete 8 and 6 the rounds of 155 & 165, respectively. Uhm, likely because the plank holds are tough on the shoulders.

I then took the workout outside, and was immediately joined by my 4-year old non-stop-talking neighbor and his mother.

10 RFT
5 parallette pass thoughs
10m strict burpee broad jumps
Spint to start

As my arms were tired from pressing, pushing was a challenge. It took my about 5 reps per burpee to, you know, jump 10m. I’m short, so there’s that.

Tuesday, May 5

My mother requested Italian “S” anise cookies with powdered sugar, so I spent the morning make about 5 dozen of those. Jeff and I then parked in lot and refinanced house. Yup, interest rates are low so it was the time to do so.

10 rounds
Bike sprint 400m
5 kipping pull-ups; 5th rep butterfly
10 rounds
Bike sprint 400m
10 kipping pull-ups; 9th rep butterfly

All pull-ups were overhand, i.e., no mixed grip.

I had initially planned on 20 rounds of 5 reps of pull-ups for total of 100 reps, but after 10th round I challenged myself. I was pleased that I completed all rounds in unbroken reps, as I don’t often kip.

I had also set a goal of 50 minutes, and even though I completed 50 more pull-ups than planned I finished in just under 50 minutes. I was spent. Uhm, five miles of biking and 150 pull-ups. Boom.

As it’s Cinco de Mayo, I made chicken quesadillas for dinner. Yup, the tortillas shells were also homemade. Deliciousness.


In my 20s I had considered becoming a professional speaker and even had an agent. I asked my dear friend Tracy to provide feedback on my public speaking style. “Paul,” she said, “you play with the change in your pockets, and it’s very distracting.” “What can I do to overcome this?” I asked. “I have a perfect solution,” said Tracy, “a worry stone.”

A worry stone is a cylindrical piece of rock that you place between your index and middle fingers and rub with your thumb. This is supposed to relieve stress, you know, and worry.

Tracy was an audience member at my next speech, so she got to see firsthand the negative repercussions, as I spent the entire presentation rubbing the stone. As the audience didn’t know that I had a worry stone in my pocket it appeared to them as if, well, I was rubbing something that might have been hard.

On a positive note, I never place my hand in my pocket when presenting.