Drunk Blogging

As previously noted, I seem to have injured my right (as opposed to per usual left) shoulder. I didn’t work out Wednesday and, whilst walking Luke Wednesday morning, sent a text to my good friend Robyn and asked her if I should see a doctor at Triangle Orthopedics. She immediately hooked me up with Doctor Voodoo-McDreamy! Good news: no arthritis, bursitis, or rotator cuff injuries. Somewhat bad news: slightly torn labrum. I’m on steroids.

Steroids make me angry. And hangry. I’m trying somewhat successfully to keep my temper in check.

My very good friend, Jay, did an assessment and informed me that, in his words, I have “jacked lats.” I’ll take that as a compliment. It also means that I need to focus on stretching my awesomely muscular and spectacular lats.

Two side effects of prednisone that I experience are insomnia and hiccoughs (NOT hiccups). I was awake until 1:30 last night and wide awake once again at 4:30 this morning. I managed to nap a mere hour throughout the day. I hiccoughed for about three cumulative hours. Gah!

I rested today, Thursday, as well. Kind of.

THUR MAY 26 | THE BEER MILE

The Beer Mile was held at Bonds Brothers in downtown Cary. A large contingency of Surmounties ran the race, including Stephen, Kevin, Michelle, Lauren, Ashlee, Kelli, Courtney, and Carin. What a fun time!

Meghan, Kevin’s beloved, was kind enough to give Stephen and me (and Kevin, of course) a ride to Bonds Brothers. I was both excited and anxious about this race, as I honestly haven’t chugged very many beers in my lifetime. I set a goal time of less than 14 minutes, thinking that it’d take me 6 or 7 minutes (as I might run slower whilst inebriated) to run 1 mile and a couple of minutes to drink each 12 oz glass of beer.

Two waves were held, and I kinda sorta possibly persuaded Kevin and Stephen to join me in the first round, supposedly composed of folks who would run the race in less than 10 minutes. I certainly wasn’t sure that I’d be able to do so!

The 7 pm start, well, started at 7:10 pm. I was growing impatient. Granted I looked awesome in my “Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn” tee shirt, lululemon shorts, and Nike Free shoes.

We were instructed to walk just past the Start/Finish and approach a table filled with plastic glasses of beer. The clock counted down from 30. Thirty! Gah! I attempted to chug the first beer in one gulp but it took me two gulps to do so. And many folks ran into me as I was finishing! Both Kevin and Stephen had finished beer, discarded cup, and began first 400m run before I was able to do so. I wasn’t the least bit surprised. I did, however, pass them both before the start of the second beer. I also kept belching and had to resist the urge to puke.

Whilst I did beat Stephen to the second beer, he chugged his beer much more quickly than did I. Uhm, I didn’t even attempt to chug. I’d take a drink, then another drink, then another drink, etc, until I finished the 12 oz. Stephen once again was well head of me for the second 400m run. I once again caught and passed him and he once again drank his third beer faster than did I. I should probably join a band, you know, to learn how to chug beer.

I caught and passed Stephen once again and — you guessed it — Stephen finished his last before before I did. As I was passing him I proclaimed, “You drink so f@cking fast!” He replied, “And you fun so f@cking fast!” I quickly passed him and ran to the finish. He wasn’t very far behind!

The clock read 8:13 when I ran over the Finish line although official time is 8:17. That’s 31 out of 276 or top 11%. I’m pleased with that performance, particularly since I did no training whatsoever in preparation. And I’m talking about drinking whilst training.

Uhm, yeah, so I was drunk when all was said and done. I mean really f@cking drunk. So drunk that I dropped the meal that I purchased. (The man working at the food truck was kind enough to only charge me half price for second purchase.)

I felt both miserable and ecstatic after all was said and done, and I’d definitely run a race like this again. Running and racing with Kevin and Stephen made it that much more of an incredible experience!

Evelyn graciously volunteered to pick me up and take me home. Luke insisted that I take him for a run/walk upon my return. I was admittedly still drunk.

And I’m kind sorta possibly still drunk now. I’m gonna nonetheless publish! I’d venture to say the my drunk blogging is grammatically more correct than 90% of posts published by others whilst that blow whilst sober. Yes?

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