¿Como se dice ‘f@ck’ en Español?

Jeff and I are visiting the Domincan Republic, staying at the Majestic resort in Punta Cana. The only thing that was on my wish list was visiting the local CrossFit whilst here.

What a disappointment.

I sent an email message earlier in the week requesting information. I still haven’t recieved a response.

The box consists of a storage trailer for the very limited equipment, with the workout area being outside under a roof. I’d say that a half a dozen could comfortably work out at the same time. As it appears that they don’t have very many members, the space is probably fine.

We arrived for the 9 am session on Friday the 13th. We were somewhat greeted by the coach, we checked into Wodify and paid drop-in and tee shirt fees, and then waited for the session to begin. Two women were completing the programmed WOD. The coach pointed to the whiteboard and told us we could begin. “Where’s the 200 meter course?” I asked. He got on his bike and led the way. Meanwhile, the two women were left alone. And they most definitely need direction.

One other man attended our session and it quickly became obvious that he wanted to compete with us.

Worm-up (that’s how it’s spelled on whiteboard)

200m run

10 dumbbell thrusters (25)

10 side arm med ball pushups

10 groines

Well, okay then. The running was fine. As the other visitor had taken the only pair of 25# dumbbells, I used a pair of 20#. Why so many thrusters when one will be doing 55 heavy thrusters later? I don’t have an answer to that question.

MY chest and thighs touched the floor for every push-up.

Groines are a jump from a plank to a squat. A two-legged mountain climber.

I was sufficiently warmed up and was sweating profusely.

Pre-WOD

5×10 push-up & renegade row

Yes, a pre-WOD.

More push-ups, you know, because one will be completing 55 burpees momentarily. I completed 2 sets @ 25 & 30 and the last set @ 35#. I maintained a plank and once again MY chest and thighs touched the floor.

I was really warmed up now. The coach got out a barbell and set it in front of the biggest fan. Both Jeff and I thought he was setting up a bar for one of us, but quickly discovered that he was setting up his own bar. Yup, he did the metcon with us.

Keep in mind that absolutely no coaching had taken place anyhow. I was getting a little angry.

Metcon

10-9-8…3-2-1 burpees & thrusters (135)

You guessed it: no review of movement standards.

I wasn’t going to do 135# thrusters so I settled on 115#.

This was miserable, as I quickly felt like I was going to suffer from a heatstroke. Even burpees were laborious. The coach was the first to finish but merely sat down as Jeff & I finished. The other visitor was doing 95# thrusters but stopped working after the 1st round. Jeff dropped from 115 to 95 and finished 2nd. I finished last with a very slow time of 15:56. On a positive note, I completed the 1st rep of any set of thrusters as a full squat clean.

Midway through the metcon I asked, “¿Como se dice ‘f@ck’ en Español?” One of the women who had worked out in the previous session said, “It’s a universal word.”

Post-WOD (for time)

50 double unders

50 Abmat situps

15 chest to bar pull-ups

5 handstand pushups

Jeff & I decided we weren’t even going to wait for the clock to start before we began  what was in essence another metcon.

I completed 35 & 15 unbroken double unders, 50 unbroken sit-ups, 10 & 5 unbroken chest to bar pull-ups, and 5 unbroken handstand push-ups.

The other visitor watched me like a hawk, although he didn’t complete post-WOD workout. I could’ve completed 15 unbroken pull-ups if my very sweaty hands hadn’t lost grip of the bar.

The coach said “adios” and we were on our way. What a truly disappointing experience!

As he never introduced himself I left not knowing the coach’s name.

Jeff & I discussed and decided to attend the Saturday, June 14 session, hoping a different coach would lead the session. No such luck.

The same coach arrived just a few minutes before what was supposed to have been the start of the 9 am session. Two women eventually arrived for the session. It took the coach 15 minutes to launch Wodify, process our payments, record the metcon on the whiteboard, start the music, and then sit in his office doing I know not what. Just like the day before, there were no introductions, review of the workout, review of movement standards, or coaching. Nada.

Jeff & I did what we needed to do.

Warm-up

500m row

Then 2  rounds

10 drop snatch (45)

10 dumbbell cleans (30)

10 dumbbell snatches

I retrieved the rowers. I didn’t expect the coach to do so, as he was already seated on a bench.

Pre-WOD

Overhead squats

2-2-2-1-1

Jeff & I shared a rack. I ignored everything else that was going on and completed last set @ 125#. My right shoulder hurts a little so I took it easy.

Metcon

50 double unders

20 2″ deficit handstand push-ups

20 cleans (95)

20 KB snatches (53)

20 hang snatches (95)

Full squat cleans and snatches? Who knows? As it was already 9:45 and our taxi would be picking us up at 10, I set up the timer on my iPhone. The women hadn’t even yet begun last set of overhead squats and we didn’t want to wait.

I completed 50  unbroken double unders, handstand push-ups is reps of 12, 3, 3, & 2, and full squat cleans in sets of 10. I scaled weight of KB snatches to 44# and whilst completing asked Jeff if did 20 total or 20 per arm. He replied, “It didn’t say so on the whiteboard” and I mistakenly thought he meant 20 per arm. Dammit. I should’ve figured it out when he began hang snatches. Dammit. My hands were exceedingly sweaty and slippery and, for the first time ever, I couldn’t keep my grasp on the barbell – even with hook grip! After repeatedly chalking my hands I finished the last rep and the metcon in a time of 17:44.

I saw no rhyme or reason for the programming. Too much overhead shit! Warmup with snatches and overhead squats and then do more and more snatches. Why?

The coach shook our hands and said “Adios.”

This box sucks.

And I still don’t know the coach’s nombre.

 

 

 

 

 

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