Laborious “Linda”

Luke had the right idea -- he slept in this morning!
Luke had the right idea — he slept in this morning!

I coached the 6 & 8 WODs and a special Boot Camp at 7. My job hardly feels like a job, as I enjoy going to work and I love what I do. No need for a day off for me!

As today was a team WOD (and I let Jeff sleep in this morning and work out at 8), I worked out solo at 10.

I’ve been wanting to attempt the benchmark WOD “Linda” for quite some time, but feared that I wouldn’t be able to complete it due tothe  number of bodyweight bench presses.

I bench, bro, but as I don’t have large chesticles I’m not very good at it.

Dead-lift @ 1.5 bw
Bench press @ bw
Clean @ .75 bw

As I was just weighed yesterday, I’m confident that I weigh no more than 141; thus, I completed lifts based upon 141#.

I like having  incremental weights.

DL @ 211.5#
BP @ 141#
CL @ 105.75# (I ran out of incremental weights so used 106.5#)

My goals were to finish with no failed reps. In order to ensure this, I continuously reminded myself to not lift until failure, particularly on BP.

Round of 10
Ten unbroken DL. No worries, no hurries. Seven & 3 BP. Again, I didn’t want to lift to failure. The most difficult part was placing my hands properly on the bar for BP. Ten unbroken CL. Full squat cleans, of course. I know the difference, yo.

It was during this first round of time that the bars began to taunt me. The DL bar said, “I’m going to feel very heavy after full squat cleans. You’re not going to be able to complete 9 unbroken reps. Just you wait and see.”

Round of 9
DL in reps of 5 & 4. That damn DL was right. My legs felt leaden. The loud grunting had already begun.

The BP bar said, “I have gravity on my side, and gravity always wins. Good luck, bitch.” I completed 5, 3, & 1. Stupid gravity. Nonetheless, BPs were completed with full range of motion.

The CL bar taunted me most of all. “Paul, you’re not going to be able to rise once you squat. I mean it. Just you wait and see.”

Nine somewhat unbroken CL, i.e., I certainly wasn’t in any hurry to complete 1 rep after another. Yup, I began dropping the bar after finishing the lift. Full squats nonetheless.

I’m glad the neighbors weren’t there today, as they may have thought I was recording a pornographic film. I was grunting that loudly.

Round of 8
DL in reps of 5 & 3, BP in reps of 3, 3, & 2, and CL in reps of 5 & 3. I had to rest momentarily between CL, as my heart rate was beating wildly.

Round of 7
Seven unbroken DL, BP in reps of 3, 2, & 2, and CL in reps of 4 & 3. I felt like I was going to pass out. Or throw up. Or throw up and then pass out.

Round of 6
It wasn’t getting any easier. Unbroken DL, BP in reps of 4 & 2, and (somewhat) unbroken CL.

Rounds of 5, 4, 3, 2, & 1
Unbroken reps of all activities. My ego, however, began to break, as I honestly suspected that I wouldn’t be able to complete the workout. I had to talk myself into putting my hands on the bar.

And the taunting continued. As I was dead-lifting the bench press bar taunted me. As I was bench pressing the clean bar taunted me. As I was cleaning the dead-lift bar taunted me. “This is going to hurt.” “Every rep is going to feel heavier than the last.” “Who knew 211/141/106 pounds could feel so heavy?” “You’re smart, strong, and very attractive.”

Well, the bars didn’t always taunt me.

Time = 20:24

That’s 55 DL, BP, and CL in 20 minutes and twenty-four seconds.

I’m considering programming this at CFS on a Saturday or Sunday and having folks sign up for a specific time. As everyone will need 3 bars, a bench, and a rack, the most that could compete (yes, compete) at a time would be six.

Surmounties, what do you all think?

2 thoughts on “Laborious “Linda”

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