Plank you very much

As I often say, if your back is sore the day after dead-lifting it’s not because you did heavy deadlifts. It’s because you have shitty form. My glutes are sore today. This obviously means I have spectacular form. True story.

CrossFit is constantly varied. I get it. Life, however, is not always as varied. Thus, I sometimes do the same activity on back-to-back days, and today afforded me that opportunity.


I warmed up, and then did sets at 185, 225, 275, 305, and 315#. I recorded all sets to ensure that my form was indeed spectacular. Confirmed.

I then coached the 10 and 11am sessions at CFD. Dave had programmed a fast and furious metcon. As I knew I’d have ample time, I included a (non pre-approved) skill session. On the whiteboard I wrote:
A. Warm up
B. 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 KB swings (70/53) and box jumps (24/20)
C. “Plank you very much”
D. Cool down

There were 18 and 16 and the 10 and 11am sessions, respectively. Wow. I’m glad that I’m skilled at crowd control. I very much like having 15 minutes for a warm up! Was yoga included, you ask? Why, yes! As I was in the center of the circle of athletes, quite a few people got a very good look at my ass. You’re welcome. You in particular, Jules.

I was very pleased that athletes listened to me so carefully and followed direction so well. I’m referring to proper form for KB swings and box jumps. Well done, athletes!

I very much enjoyed coaching this metcon, as I like when there is somewhat of a level playing field. I provided very clear guidelines, e.g., only American swings, all rounds unbroken, hips extended at the top of the box, no rebounding off of the floor, etc. Some athletes helped level the playing field by jumping on a 30” box, completing Rx, or going somewhat heavier with KB swings.

Uhm, there almost weren’t enough boxes to go around. Ms. Amy Scott kindly substituted lunges for box jumps (due to an injury and her awesomeness) and Kevin and Pete (visiting from NY) shared a box. Sharing is caring.

“So,” you ask, “what the hell is ‘Plank you very much’?”

10-minute held plank, including plank variations. If athletes can no longer hold plank, there is a mandatory 30-second rest. Score is total time of help plank; thus a perfect score is 10 minutes.

The variety was very much the same for both sessions. We began with a 60-second held plank. Side, forearm, one-legged, one-handed, one-legged and one-handed, and “walking” planks were included.

Sadly, only one person from each of the sessions was able to hold the plank for the entire 10 minutes. Happily, that person was me!

You can wash laundry on these abs, folks. I kid you not.

Both sessions completed a 5-minute cool down, focusing on the lower back and shoulders, and I still had 5 minutes to spare. Yup, I had planned it this way. As athletes don’t often get an opportunity to rope climb, I provided instruction and then allowed anyone who wanted to give it a try to do so. Nice work those of you who climbed the rope for the very first time!


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