And giving, and giving, and giving…

Kettlebell cufflinks!
Kettlebell cufflinks!


Meg evidently doesn't like burpees. I do.
Meg evidently doesn’t like burpees. I do.

Yesterday was quite a busy day, as I met my very good friend Mary-Ann for lunch and delightful conversation. Later that evening I shared coffee and conversation with my former mentee, Kate, and the always-huggable Katherine. Look at the thoughtful gifts that Kate and Katherine gave me for my birfday! Yes, tomorrow is my 49th birthday, and I plan on doing my birthday burpees. I’m almost half a century old, and I’m okay with that. True story.

I coached the 6 and 7pm sessions at CFBC last night so that my good friend, Kirk, could celebrate his birthday. He’s younger than I am. And stronger. And he has more hair on the top o’ his head. But I still like him. I had a wonderful time coaching, particularly the recent foundations graduates. I like me some newbies!

The search for the perfect location for my CrossFit box continues, and I’ve been receiving suggestions from quite a few people. Keep them coming. I’ve also begun creating content for website and marketing. I’m anxiously awaiting approval for affiliation before I do much more. I do need an accountant.

My friends and family continue to be very supportive, and I’m most appreciative. While driving to CFBC this morning, my mother called me. It was 5:23am. She said, “I’m calling to wish you a happy birthday.” “Mom,” I said, “my birthday isn’t until tomorrow.” “Yes, I know that,” she replied, “but I didn’t want to be late.” When I asked her why she was awake so early in the morning she told me that she had a lot on her mind.

She’s worrying about me. I know it.

I asked, “Couldn’t you just go back to sleep?” She replied, “Once I’m awake, I’m awake.” It’s genetic, then!

I arrived at CFBC at 5:35, and Josh was listening to Mumford & Sons. He asked, “Do you have your bag of balls?”

Josh used my balls when leading the 6amers through mobility. As we were doing so I asked Ana, “Are you going to watch the Glee Christmas episode tonight?” She said, “I don’t watch Glee. Did you watch the Victoria’s Secret Christmas special?” Touché, Ana. We then did 2 rounds of 10 good mornings, GHD back extensions, and kettle bell swings. As I said to Josh, I just wasn’t feeling it. I seriously considered just not even doing today’s scheduled conditioning.

Josh asked me to demonstrate the movements, and I begrudgingly agreed to do so, and it took much cajoling and prodding on Josh’s behalf to persuade me to do so. You know, because I’m so modest and all. I don’t like to show off in front of others. One thing I never do is take off my shirt, for example. I did nonetheless demonstrate impeccable dead-lift, air squat, and handstand pushup form. Flawless, faultless, immaculate, unsullied, and above reproach form. True story.

5 rounds for time:
7 dead-lifts (275/185#)
30 air squats
7 handstand pushups
I was concerned with heavy dead-lifts, and in hindsight should not have been. I had settled on 225, but at the last minute increased to 245, 102# heavier than bodyweight.

My A goal was to complete all round in unbroken reps and with strict HSPUs. My B goal was to complete as many rounds as possible in unbroken reps, but with strict HSPUs and rounds of air squats unbroken, regardless. My C goal was to complete dead-lifts and air squats unbroken, and to complete HSPUs unbroken until, well, I just had to kip.

As the clock was counting down from 10 I shouted, “I just want to warn all of you that the shirt might come off today. I hope it’s not that great of a distraction.”

I warmed up dead-lifts with 135 & 225, but didn’t lift 245# until the first rep of the workout.

I completed the first round of all activities unbroken. As I was doing air squats, the bar started to roll toward me. I kindly asked Josh to get some plates for me to put in front of the plates on the bar to prevent it from rolling. Thanks, Josh!

Just before starting the second round I shouted, “The shirt’s coming off, everyone! Be sure to look!” And I took off my shirt.

I completed the second round of activities unbroken. HSPUs felt the best that they’ve felt in a very long time, and I was surprised that I was able to do 7 strict reps one after the other. Perhaps wearing a shirt has prevented me from doing so in the past. I did miss a rep in that my head didn’t touch the mat (placed between 2, 25#plates). This was, of course, the rep that Josh saw and he justifiably said, “Make sure your head touches the mat, Paul.” I didn’t count that rep.

I completed the third round of dead-lifts unbroken, and was beginning to realize that I should’ve gone heavier, perhaps even as heavy as 275#. During air squats Josh yelled, “Go deeper, Paul.” I replied, “That’s what he said.” I miss Michael Scott. (You thought I was going to say Michael “Kelley” didn’t you?) I completed air squats and HSPUs unbroken.

While just mere moments earlier I wasn’t feeling it, I was suddenly feeling it.

I completed the fourth round in unbroken reps and was still doing strict HSPUs. I did occasionally interject comments, as did others. I can recall one time stepping up to the bar and saying “Holy.” I believe it was Michelle who said “Shit”. I thanked her for doing so.

I completed the last round of dead-lifts and air squats unbroken. I swung my arms across my chesticles and got ready for the last round of HSPUs. Unbeknownst to me, Josh was watching me closely – and counting reps. One, two, three, four, five, six. “One last rep, Paul!” Josh shouted. My head touched the mat, I reminded myself to look out, and I very slowly pushed my body up until my elbows finally locked.

Goal A accomplished, bitches, with a time of 9:08.

Daryl, the only other male besides me (and Josh, I suppose) approached me afterwards and said, “Man, you’re fit.” Thanks for the compliment, Daryl!

I showered and changed into jeans and my “Fruitcake: The Gift That Keeps On Giving” shirt. I said to Julia, Alexis, Chris, and Josh, “Don’t be gaycists.” Josh said, “I was wondering when I could start teasing you about all of this.” “Bring it, Josh,” I replied, “because at the end of the day I know that my penis is bigger than yours.”


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