Bodyweight and Busted

Cartman

As a favor to my friend and fellow coach, Erin, I coached the 5 & 6pm sessions at CFD yesterday evening. I was delighted that I had the opportunity to see so many familiar faces, including Lori, Einar, Corey, Dori, and Jack. Yes, Jack, who I fondly still refer to as my favorite coach.

As Lori and Jack are both coaches at CFD and since there were so many other coaches present last night, including Bea, Rich, Stew, Tripp, and Dave (who also happens to be the owner), I felt somewhat anxious about coaching for or in front of them. This quickly subsided once the warm up began – and I could see the look of pain on Lori’s and Jack’s faces.

There were 20 and 7 who attended the 5 & 6pm sessions, respectively. I did include yoga during the warm-up, including the pigeon pose, as I wanted to make sure everyone was well warmed up before they began to dead-lift heavy weights.

The strength skill was 5 dead-lifts at 90% of 1RM. I reviewed basics, gave folks an opportunity to work up to 90%, and then had all athletes (or half at a time with the 5pm group) do the dead-lift at the very same time. I said, “As my good friend, Jack, used to say to me when he coached me on the dead-lift, it has to be explosive.” (Yes, Michael Kelley, we’ve focused on explosiveness at CFZ, too. Quit your damn whining.) I would say, “Step away from the bar. Don’t even look at it yet. Ready? 3, 2, 1, walk quickly to the bar, set your feet, set your hands, and lift!” Quite a few were surprised with how relatively easy the lifts felt.

I then went off script, and Dave has every right to not only be mad at me, but to fire me as a coach from CFD and to never allow me to ever coach there again. Ever.

I informed the athletes that if they wanted to attempt a 1RM that they could, and that we would once again all lift together. More than half of the athletes not only attempted but also achieved a new 1RM.

The conditioning was 3 rounds for time of 200m run, 10 OHS (115/95), & 5 chest to bar pull-ups. Jack crushed it.

Even though I instructed folks to scale the weight for OHS if needed and use a band if they couldn’t get their chest to the bar, a few ignored my suggestions and didn’t squat to the proper depth and/or merely did chin over the bar pull-ups. There’s no shame in scaling, folks. I will, however, shame you during the metcon if your hips don’t go below parallel and/or your chest doesn’t touch the bar. And when you run like shit.

Michael Kelley had invited me to join him at 7am this morning to work on snatches, cleans, and clean & jerks. I had led him to believe that I would not be joining him, mostly so I could hear him whine. He’s such a baby. I also told him that today was going to be a rest day, again just to hear him whine. He then told me that he had created a metcon with me in mind, and that it included running, pull-ups, and pushups. I still told him that I wasn’t going to workout at CFZ, and he texted: U can’t even support me enough to do one wod a week at my gym now. See what I mean about the whining?

As I had planned all along to do, I did join Michael Kelley at CFZ this morning at 7. He was very happy to see me, and I’ll admit to being very happy to see him. He was also kind enough to spot and SCREAM AT ME during bench presses.

Bench presses? Why, yes! As my left arm feels completely healed, I decided to do “Lynne.” My upper body is sore, particularly my arms and shoulders, yet I decided to do if for no other reason than I wanted to do bench presses. Huh? Me? Bench presses?

“Lynne”
5 rounds not for time
Maximum number of bodyweight bench presses
Maximum number of pull-ups

My only goals was to beat my previous PR of 140, and I did so by 4 reps. Unlike in the past, I completed more bench presses but far fewer pull-ups. I completed 10, 9, 7, 7, & 6 bench presses @ 145, 2# more than bodyweight, and 20, 21, 21, 22, and 21 pull-ups.

I was so concerned with my chin going over the bar that I once again hit my Adam’s apple on the bar. My throat still hurts hours later. As I didn’t want to be working out as 8amers arrived, I completed “Lynne” in about 30 minutes.

I coached the 8am session, and was delighted to see 6amers Lux and Amy. Michael Kelley joined the group for the metcon, and after just one round he took off his shirt. I called him “Cartman” for the remainder of the morning. I don’t, however, think he’s big-boned. Not that bone, readers. Get your minds out of the gutter.

I joined the 9:15ers. I didn’t, however, do speed bench press, but instead did 3 reps of high bar back squats at 145# every 30 seconds. The workout was only to have lasted 4 and half minutes, but Michael Kelley sucks at time management and classroom control. I ended up doing 13 sets for a total of 39 reps. I recorded the entire ordeal so that I could later view and ensure that I had squatted deeply enough and with good form. More in a moment…

I completed the metcon, although there was no way in hell that I was going to do pull-ups. I shouldn’t, however, have done toes to bar, and my biceps and forearms were swollen and sore.

3 rounds of the following for total number of reps
3 minutes – run 200m and do maximum number of pull-ups toes to bar in remaining time
Rest 1 minute
3 minutes – run 200m and do maximum number of hand release pushups in remaining time
Rest 1 minute

Thus, the workout lasted 23 minutes. It was a beautiful day to run. I ran 200m in about 41 or 42 seconds each round but the last. Gibson wanted to race me, so I ran the last 200m in 38 seconds.

Toes to bar started off well, and then got progressively worse. I completed 42 reps the first round, and about 35 of them were kipping. I completed 35 reps the second round, and about 10 of them were kipping. I completed 30 reps the last round, and not a single one of them was kipping.

Hand release pushups went much better. I completed 53 reps the first round in sets of between 10 (out of the gate) and 4. I completed 52 reps the second round in sets of no more than 5 and no less than 3. I completed 51 reps the last round in sets of no more than 5 and no less than 2.

Total = 107 toes to bar and 156 HRPUs. I crushed Michael Kelley on HRPUs, and made sure to repeatedly tell him so. It sounded a little something like this. “I crushed you, Michael Kelley. Fifty-three, 52, 51.”

I reviewed the recording of HBBS as I was eating lunch. While resting between the sixth and seventh rounds I busted a move. Ha! I have no recollection of doing so. I continued to review recording only to see myself once again bust a move after between the ninth and tenths rounds. Ha!

Maggi said if feels like I’ve abandoned them at CFZ. Maggi, I’m truly sorry if it feels this way, and I can also certainly understand why it would feel this way. I’ll continue to coach at CFZ on Saturdays at 8 (at least through the end of the year). Lauren hugged me and told me that she missed me. This came as quite a welcome surprise! Now if only Tim would hug me as well.

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