Burger King Coffee

Today’s post is in chronological order.

Thursday evening I attended a power yoga session held at Life Time Fitness and led by Heather C. I very much like this month’s sequence, particularly as there is a focus on the hips. And the vinyasa includes a push-up. How awesome is that? Even though I could be much more flexible, I’m nonetheless the most flexible than I’ve ever been. True story. (Where did that come from?)

I rested yesterday, and it took every ounce of willpower to do so. I was wide-awake at 4:30 and could have easily attended the 6 or 7am session at CFBC. I also very much wanted to do dead-lifts, power cleans, and double unders. I made myself keep my ass at home, and I did indeed rest yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon my BFF asked if I would pick him up from his home and take him to pick up his car. In good times, in fat times, I’ll be his friend forever more, because that’s what friends are for.

Last night Jeff and I went on a triple-date with the Brubaker’s and Cox’s, and we had an absolutely wonderful time. I can’t recall a single moment during the 2 hours when there was silence. Things I learned: Nathanael wants children so that he can also have a minivan and I breathe far too loudly when I work out.

I coached the 8am session at CFZ this morning. My apologies to the attendees for not knowing that bench presses were to be 3×3 wide, neutral, and narrow grip. In my defense, just yesterday I asked the Head Coach if folks were merely going to do 9×3, and he confirmed that this was indeed the case. I also apologize for providing poor coaching for the RS press for Mandi. Once again, the Head Coach didn’t confirm that I understood the new correct way to complete.

Speaking of the Head Coach, he did not participate in the 8am session but instead very loudly did his own thing during that time.

Today included the benchmark WOD, “Helen”. I was pleased that so many athletes completed as prescribed, including Jeff.

I attended the 9:15am session, although I was this close to going the hell home. Why? Because the drama almost immediately began. I hate drama. “I should just go home,” I told Michael Kelley, “as I just did bench presses two days ago.” “Please just stay and do a workout here,” he pleaded. As he batted his eyelashes, I stayed, albeit begrudgingly.

I practiced presses, working up to multiple reps at 115#. Exciting, I know.

Did I mention there were large crowds at both sessions? I very much wanted to do “Helen”, but was fearful that a cluster f@ck would ensue. My fears became reality.

“Helen”
3 rounds for time
Run 400m
21 kettle bell swings, 52#
12 pull-ups

I’ve completed this WOD a number of times, including:

April , 2012 in a time of 9:26 http://crossfitpaul.com/2012/04/03/donkey-monkey-and-helen/

March 24, 2011 in a time of 8:52 http://crossfitpaul.com/2011/03/24/helen/

December 3, 2011 in a time of 9:20 http://crossfitpaul.com/2010/12/03/awesome-coach-ashley-and-helen/

As you can see, I’ve been inconsistent. What I’ve never been able to do is complete all rounds of pull-ups unbroken. Thus, that was my one and only goal today.

I claimed a spot on the pull-up rig just inside the garage door. The lovely Johanna didn’t have a spot, and I insisted that she take mine. I grabbed a box and positioned it below the highest (yes, the highest) bar at the far end of the rig. Johanna, however, had made up her mind that she would not do pull-ups at the spot I have given up for her, and instead gave that spot to someone else. I was heartbroken, crushed, and emotionally demolished. Not really, but I really, really, really wanted that spot.

The weather was absolutely perfect, with the temperature in the lower 60s.

Michael Kelley counted down from 5, and we were off. I was the first to complete the 400m run. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Sheesh.

I had set up my kettle bell outside of the box, but didn’t realize until after the WOD that this was to my detriment, as I was positioned on a slight downhill and thus was swinging the KB, well, uphill. I completed all 3 rounds unbroken. I didn’t, however, complete the first round nearly as fast as I could have or should have. I was so focused on form and consistency that I forgot about intensity.

I had to do some maneuvering to get to my spot on the pull-up rig, and it was difficult to kip with the box so close to my feet. I nonetheless did the first round unbroken.

I was the first to being the second 400m run, and had run almost 300m when I saw my good friend Nathanael just pass the 100m mark. Nice work today, Nathanael!

After I completed the second round of 21 KB swings, I walked into the box and Michael Kelley said, “You have your choice of where you want to do pull-ups.” I didn’t want to do pull-ups where there were bands, so I chose a higher bar (which happened to be Michael Kelley’s brother’s spot). I was about 4 reps into set when Michael Kelley’s brother stood in front of me. I thought, “Shit, I’m going to have to drop from the bar and give him his spot.” It was then that I realized that he hadn’t yet started KB swings. I stayed on the rig and did the second set of pull-ups once again unbroken. I thought, “One more set to go.”

I had finished the last 400m, and did the last round of KB swings unbroken. I don’t know if this happens to any readers who are CFers, but time seemed to slow down during that last round. I had only completed 5 swings and thought, “Shit, I have 16 more of these to go.” When I had completed 10 swings I thought, “I’m not even halfway there.” When I had completed 18 swings I thought, “Just keep going. Don’t put down the kettle bell until you’ve done 21 swings.”

I entered the box and looked for a place to do the last set of pull-ups. I didn’t want to use either of the spots I had already used, so I moved Britt’s spot. I almost did the first pull-up facing the wrong direction, i.e., my head would’ve hit the extended bar, but luckily I changed direction before doing so. I was bound and determined to do the last set of pull-ups unbroken, and that’s what I did!

I yelled “Time!” and Michael Kelley said, “8:48”. I achieved my goal and got a PR as well. I’m now convinced that I know 10 or more seconds off of this time – if my transitions are smoother. I’ll need to do this in far less crowded conditions.

My forearms were on fire, I tell you. On fire!

I’m going to rant now, and you have been warned.

I’ve received a number of complaints from folks, and the behavior I’m about to describe doesn’t take place just at CFZ. There appears to be, however, one (or possibly) more culprits at CFZ. I’ve been informed that someone has been doing less than the required reps but nonetheless not only putting their time on the board but Rx beside their name. While I haven’t personally witnessed this, I trust the people who have brought this to my attention. First, this is cheating, and there’s no reason to argue otherwise. Sure, someone could scale and do less reps (or weight or rounds, etc.), but to go on record as having completed the prescribed rounds is just bullshit.

I’m done, other than to say this: If I happen to be coaching that session, please bring this to my attention and I’ll question the person(s) directly.

I took Luke for a very long walk, played with him in the backyard, and composed this blog. I typically wouldn’t even be home by this time. I like coaching only 1 WOD on Saturdays. Very true story.

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