You’re prickly

I arrived at CFZ at 7:20 and Michael Kelley arrived at 7:45. He did not, however, speak to me until exactly 9:17:29. When he finally did say hello, the topic of conversation immediately turned to him. “I overslept and I’ve been running late all morning.” By this time I was in one of my moods, and I didn’t want to have much to do with him or most anyone else.

Fortunately, I was in a relatively good mood while leading the 8amers. There were more than a dozen in attendance, and most were very good about following directions. Thanks, folks!

I usually discuss my own workout. For a change of pace I’ll discuss a few musings.

1. I genuinely think/feel that most athletes enjoy the addition of yoga to the warmup, and quite a few people have told me so. Unlike a previous coach (who shall remain unnamed), I don’t do the same yoga warmup each and every time, and I let athletes know when we’re doing something different.

2. If you can’t full extend your arms at the bottom of a pull-up, well, then, extend your damn arms at the bottom of a pull-up.

3. If you are attempting chest to bar pull-ups and you can’t get your chest to the bar, well, then, use a damn band.

4. When I instruct you to count down from five and pick up the damn bar and/or kettle bell or start your bupees, well, then, count down from five and do just that.

5. Catching your breath while resting with your hands on your knees while still standing is acceptable. Sitting down is not. Ever. Until the end of the metcon, that is.

6. Straighten your damn arms and lock your damn elbows at the top of a press and/or kettle bell swing.

7. Proper form and execution will always trump a fast time. Always.

Michael Kelley led the 9:15ers through a warmup, and I participated in some of it. My shoulders are beyond the point of soreness and almost to the point of pain; thus, I wasn’t going to do any wheelbarrow.

Push press
6 x 2 75% of 1RM

I lifted 100#, and lifts felt surprisingly good. I focused on explosiveness.

Chest to bar pull-ups
5 rounds of strict max reps, 30 seconds with 30 seconds rest

Pull-ups didn’t feel as good as they have in the past, probably because I’ve done so many as of late.  I completed 9, 6, 6, 6, & 4 for a total of 31. I missed 1 rep the 3rd and 4th rounds and 2 reps the last round. Dammit.

5 push-jerks @ 65% of 1RM
10 burpees with lateral bar hop
15 kettle bell swings
15 push-jerks
20 burpees with lateral bar hop
30 kettle bell swings
15 push-jerks
30 burpees with lateral bar hop
45 kettle bell swings

There was no way in hell that I was going to do push-jerks, so I substituted 225# dead-lifts. I used a 53# kettle bell. Here’s what happened…

I completed 1st round of dead-lifts unbroken, 2nd round in reps of 6 & 4, and last round in reps of 4, 4, 4, & 3. Dead-lifts felt heavy, but manageable. I completed the 1st round of burpees with lateral hop unbroken and remaining rounds in reps of 10. I completed 1st round of kettle bell swings unbroken, 2nd round in reps of 15, and the last round in reps of 10, 10, 10, 10, & 5.

This was a very challenging metcon, and I felt winded throughout. I can usually blow through burpees with a lateral hop, but was only able to string together 10 at a time. Huh? I had planned on doing all dead-lifts with overhand grip, but had to switch to mixed grip the last round. Huh? Kettle bell swings became grueling, and I had to force myself to keep focused on extending my arms and locking my elbows. Huh?

I completed the metcon in 12:39. Michael Kelley saw me drop to the ground and said, “12:41.” Uhm, no.

I spent the next hour working on skills and focusing on core. I began by pulling that damn sled. I completed 60m sprints with 45, 60, 70, 80, and 90#. I had forgotten how much I hate pulling that damn sled.

I put on my 45# weight vest and held a plank for 3 minutes, adding one-legged and one-armed holds. The last minute was the hardest, and I had to grit my teeth in order to hold the plank. I recorded and reviewed. I did hold a good plank throughout. The most noticeable accomplishment, however, is that I finally have an ass. It took almost three years, but I finally have an ass. A rather nice and shapely ass, I might add. I showed the recording to Jeff, Michael Kelley, and anyone else who would watch, and snapped a picture. Yes, I had drawn an arrow to my ass.

I then did 25 “walking” planks and 2 x 10 toes to bar while wearing weight vest. No, fools, I didn’t wear the weight vest for walking planks.

I led the Community WOD which consisted of 13, 12, 10… 3, 2, 1 kettle bell swings, Abmat sit-ups, and wall ball shots.

Michael Kelley was nice to me during lunch, so I forgive him for being such an ass. CrossFit Zeal treated me to lunch! Thanks, Tom and Michael Kelley!


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