You’ll always be my favorite, Michelle.

Blech. That’s how I felt this morning. If I didn’t have to drop off Luke at Doggie Village, I would have stayed home.

I did skill work yesterday, consisting of OHS practice and 10 x 10 GHD sit-ups and toes to bar. Exciting shit, yes?

I’m about to go off on a tangent. You have been warned.

My father was a wonderful, caring, and loving man. He could also hold a grudge like no one I’ve ever known. I can recall times when someone – even a good friend – would anger my father, and he would never speak to that person again. I didn’t understand or admire this quality.

You can argue that it is nature or nature or a combination of the two, but I seem to have inherited and/or modeled one particular behavior of my father’s: the ability to excommunicate someone. (Perhaps I may have also learned this from my Catholic upbringing.) My friend Deedie once noted that with me it is “punishment by omission”. In other words, I don’t say or do anything that could be perceived as hateful – I just don’t communicate with the person at all. I don’t acknowledge their existence, and I manage to see right through them, even in a social gathering. Others may notice and may even question me about my behavior, yet I am convinced that I have done nothing wrong. How could I, when I’m doing nothing at all? That’s awesome logic, if I do say so myself.

Okay, so even I realize that may not be the most mature behavior. I shall forever act spoiled, as I am the youngest child and I will always be my mother’s baby.

Which brings me to my next issue… As I was the youngest of six, my five older siblings would constantly tell me what to do, and would often boss me around. I was small and weak, so this was very easy to do. As an adult, I do not like being told what to do. You may ask me to do something, and I may or may not comply. However, if you tell me to do something, rest assured I will not do what you ask. Ask me to pick you up at the airport? Sure! Tell me to pick you up at the airport? No. Find your own damn ride. Ask me for a loan? Why, yes! I’ll probably not even ask for the money in return. Tell me that I must loan you money? Talk to a bail bondsperson. Ask me to apologize to you or someone else? If an apology is appropriate, I’ll gladly do so. Tell me that I must apologize to someone? Not on your f@cking life.

I’m going to once again ask for your patience here. I’m going somewhere, I promise. Burt, are you still with me? Burt?

If you tell me to do something, I will unequivocally inform you that I will not do what you request – for no other reason than you’re telling me what to do. If you insist upon continuing to tell me what to do, I will very quickly excommunicate you. It’s that simple, and for me it’s also just that easy.

I sound like an asshole, don’t I?

What I decided that I would never do is hold a grudge. I honestly believe that if you’re going to forgive someone that you should start with a clean slate of sorts. Yes, I’m saying you should not only forgive, but forget.

I can turn from hot to cold and/or from cold to hot in an instant. I realize this. I’m offering no apologies.

Whew, that was exhausting.

Today’s workout consisted of one-legged box jumps. I do not like these, and I’m not going to risk injuring myself doing them. I did hand Michael Kelley a post-it note stating the following:

Michael Kelley,
Please excuse Claire from box jumps.
Signed,
Everyone

Next up? Box back squats. Michael Kelley had asked me who I would partner with, and I initially said Burt. As Lux was there, I didn’t want to interfere with whatever it is that the two of them having going on. (I saw that hug, Lux.) I said, “I’ll work with Thomas.” Thomas, however, has gotten used to working with Lauren, and as I told Lauren’s husband, Tim, “I’d worry about what’s going on between Lauren and Thomas – if Thomas weren’t so gay.” Hugs, Thomas!

Thus, I had a rack and a box to myself. My hips felt incredibly tight, I felt incredibly weak, and I was completely disinterested. I put 170# on the bar, Michael Kelley observed, confirmed that my legs were vertical, but said that I wasn’t going fast enough. He said, “Take the two and a half pound plates off of the bar.” So I took off the 2.5, 5, and 10# plates and completed about a dozen fast box back squats with just 135#. Take that, Michael Kelley!

Speed dead-lifts were next. I used 185#, and was once again informed that I wasn’t going fast enough. Michael Kelley said, “It’s getting stuck above your knees.” When I asked him to demonstrate, he said he wasn’t warmed up enough to do so. Huh? Really? Piss poor excuse, Michael Kelley.

Conditioning consisted of 5 rounds for time of full squat cleans and running 200m. I was given permission to substitute 135# front squats for squat cleans, and that’s what I did.

This metcon was so boring that I almost fell asleep during the very first round. I completed in 6:19.

I got my keys to CrossFit Durham from Dave today, and I’m looking forward to coaching there Sundays at 10 & 11! Will I see you there? Will I? Will I?

Thanks for the hug, Dave! I must really like you.

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