Coach, coach thyself!

It was quite a fun morning at CFZ. Michael Kelley and I are actually getting along quite well, and I don’t feel the desire to punch him in the throat nearly as often as I usually do. This can’t last long…

I received a HUGE compliment from a certain someone this morning, and I’ve been smiling about it all day long. I would like to share, but I’ll have to ask that certain someone if this is acceptable. I did share with Michael Kelley if for no other reason than to make him feel inferior, if that’s possible.

Low Bar Back Squat
65% x 5; 120.5|120
75% x 5; 138|135
85% x 3; 157|160
95% x 2; 175|175
105% x 2 x 2 x 2; 194|190

All percentages are based on last weeks 5RM (This is taken directly from CFZ page. Michael, “week’s” is possessive, not plural.)

I based percentages on 185#. Michael Kelley said, “Lift 190 for your last reps.” I should’ve checked his math, as I would’ve lifted 195 instead of 190#.

I shared a rack with Woody, and I’d do so again, as we worked well together. All lifts felt good.

I need to focus more on myself and less on others. I know, right? I’m for too altruistic. I need to be much, much more selfish. This will be a challenge for me, but I’m willing to give it a try.

For whatever reason, I have gotten out of the habit of putting my thumb over the bar when doing back squats. What? When did this happen? I looked around me and noticed that most athletes were also putting thumbs under the bar. What? How did the coaches let this happen? As I only coach strength one day a week, Wednesdays, and we’ve been doing nothing but dead-lifts, it is quite obviously Michael Kelley’s fault.

5 Pull-ups
7 Toes-2-Bar
9 Box Jumps

In celebration of Alex’s successful defense of his doctoral dissertation, Michael Kelley created a metcon consisting of Alex’s three favorite activities.

I contemplated not doing this metcon, and had communicated my desire to not to do so to Michael Kelley last night as well as this morning. He didn’t believe me. It was once again a big hot mess this morning, as there were a dozen in attendance. Uhm, we have about 7 or 8 boxes. Michael Kelley somehow acquired a 30” box for me, and I thought, “What the hell. Have fun with it!” And that’s what I did.

I completed all rounds of pull-ups unbroken, as well as the first three rounds of T2B. I remained on the bar for T2B for all rounds, although I only completed 3 T2B the last full round before having to drop from the bar. I completed all rounds of box jumps unbroken. However, I didn’t focus on quickly rebounding off of the floor until the third round, when it dawned on me that I wasn’t doing so. I blame Michael Kelley. Less playing with your junk, more coaching, please.

This was quite a challenging metcon, and I tried to lighten the mood – and share my misery. I kept an eye on the clock, and when just two and a half minutes had passed I yelled, “Only eight and a half f@cking minutes left, folks!” Later I yelled, “Six and a half minutes. We’re not even halfway f#cking there!” This continued until the hell was over.

I completed 9 rounds + 5 pull-ups + 1 T2B.

I am very tempted to say something in regard to apples and oranges, but I will bite my tongue instead.

It’s Monday, so it’s accessory day. I got to work at 5:40.

Sled Pulls
3 x 3, straight-leg, backwards, and dead-lift

I put 105# on the sled, and it felt very, very heavy. To make matters worse, I had to turn the sled around two times for each rep, as there was a group of people kicking around a soccer ball at the far end of the parking lot. Damn it. I did get a drink between rounds, as I desperately needed the rest.

As I was completing a round of dead-lifts pulls, with straps between my legs and hands very close to my junk, Nathanael said, “It sure would be nice if you had two hooks to hook the end of the straps on.” “Or a larger penis,” I replied.


I completed these on the pull-up bar rig as the 5:30ers were doing the metcon. I completed holds of 10, 10, 10, 15, 15, & 20 seconds. My abs (of steel) were on fire.

I had the pleasure of being sandwiched between the always delightful Nicole and Inez. Inez and I shared a moment, and Michael Kelley got very, very jealous. I’m not sure, though, if he was jealous of me or jealous of Inez.

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