Ex-communicated

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An enjoyable, productive day at CFZ! I worked out solo from 8 to 9 – and I liked doing so.

Strength
3 x 3 sled pulls; forwards, backwards, dead-lift

My goal was to do all rounds unbroken and with fast transitions, and I did just that. For whatever reason, I find the backwards to be the most exhausting.

Maximum rep floor presses; 30# dumbbells
25 pull-aparts; blue band

I completed 30, 20, 15, & 20 presses. I wasn’t, however, able to complete more than 15 unbroken pull-aparts. Those are tough!

Jeff says that I now have a chest. I like to save I have chesticles.

Michael Kelley appeared shortly after 9. He really needs to shave. He looks like a hippie. Or a singer of country music. He then taught me how to speed bench. I had to remind him that I’m an auditory learner, and that he had to not only demonstrate but also explain what he was doing. Nonetheless, I think I’m going to enjoy speed press, and I’m anxious to try with weight on the bar.

I attended the 9:30 session coached by Michael Kelley.

Every minute on the minute for 10 minutes
3 burpee muscle-ups

We were allowed to choose our own bodyweight activity, and burpee muscle-ups were an obvious choice. I did indeed complete all 30 reps, and felt strong from start to finish.

My good friend Paul A. was struggling with muscle-ups.

Me: Paul, use your hips! This will improve your lovemaking abilities as well.
Paul A.: But you don’t use your hips!
Me: I know. I don’t have to. I merely need to remain stationary to please my partner. I just stand there. I’m that good.

I really wanted to do the conditioning consisting of running 400m with a medicine ball, wall ball shots, and pull-ups. When the WOD was posted last night I replied, “I claim the 30# medicine ball.” K. stated, “Woah woah woah. I didn’t know I needed to call dibs. I’ll rock, paper, scissors you for it.” I’m a coach, and I should defer to the needs of the athletes. I stated, “It’s yours. I’ll just do the wod solo later today or tomorrow.” And that’s what I intended to do. When K. arrived he asked if I wanted to use the 30# medicine ball, and said that he’d do the WOD at 10:30. I’m not going to get into a pissing match. You want it? You use it.

I completed a modified version of the main site WOD instead.

Conditioning
4 rounds for time:
30 jump and touch (jump to a target 1’ above reach; for me that was a pull-up bar)
20 dead-lifts, 185#
10 HSPUs

This was grueling. Jump and touches were relatively easy, and once I got into the swing of things after the first 5 or 6 of the first round, I completed the remaining rounds unbroken. I was nonetheless winded after each round.

I took a smart approach to dead-lifts in that I completed all rounds in reps of 10, 6, & 4, resting as long as I needed to before stepping up to the bar. I was also occasionally pouring cold water on the top of my head. Each time I finished a set, even sets of 4 reps, I felt light-headed.

Oh, and I took off my shirt about 3 minutes into the metcon.

I should’ve known better than to attempt HSPUs after doing so many muscle-ups just moments earlier. I did the first round in reps of 4, 2, 2, 1, & 1. I completed 2 the second round, and then switched to negative pushups using 45# plates. Even though I had completed 2 HSPUs, I did 10 unbroken negative pushups the second and remaining rounds.

I will admit to being exhausted from the start of this metcon. I was facing a group of folks when doing dead-lifts, including Jeff and Burt, and they had no choice but to observe. Burt’s hilarious, and I truly enjoy joking with him. As I approached the dead-lift bar for the third round, I pulled down the front of my Lululemon shorts to just above my junk. Keep in mind that I was shirtless, so all present got a good look. I don’t know what overcame me. I truly don’t.
I completed the metcon in 13:10. I was done for the day.

But wait, I wasn’t done for the day, as I coached the 10:30 session, and, like the 9:30 session, it was a full house of probably 16 or so folks – including Ashley Thompson Denton. Yes, Ashley Thompson Denton! She looked as awesome as ever, and can that girl squat.

Amy used a 14# ball for wall ball shots. Nice job, Amy! (She really wanted a mention on my blog, so there it is.)

I was most proud of Jeff (not my Jeff) for challenging himself with wall climbs for skills, Nicole for powering though the last round of pushups, and Burt for carrying a 45# plate for 400m runs. That’s hardcore.

I led the Community WOD, attended by six visitors as well as Kristin (who’s not a bitch), Nicole (who’s also not a bitch), and Jeff (who can sometimes be a bitch). It was called “Burpee Hell”, and Jeff says it was the hardest Community WOD I’ve ever led. Four rounds with a minute rest between rounds of burpees jumping on plate, burpee with plate press, and burpee box jumps. It looked fun!

Uhm, I jokingly called Kristin a bitch, and she thought I meant it. Folks, if I’m angry or upset with you, you’ll know it. Don’t believe me? Ask Michael Kelley.

I joined a group for lunch, including Ashley Thompson Denton. Yes, Ashley Thompson Denton! Michael Kelley and I, even though seated just a few feet apart, exchanged sexts. CFZ is going to begin offering an 8am session on Saturdays, and I would very much like to coach that session. I’ve stated unequivocally that I do not want to coach three session on any given day, and that I’d be happy to coach 8am, attend 9:15, and coach 10:30 am session; thus, I wouldn’t coach the Community WOD. For whatever reason, Michael Kelley doesn’t enjoy coaching the Community WOD. He suggested that I coach the 8am session, attend the 9:15 session, do accessory work, and then coach the Community WOD.

What should I do? I’ll let all of you decide.

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