Please don’t take off your shirt. I mean it.

Dear Readers,

I’m not quitting. I merely wanted Michael Kelley to think I was. Why, you ask? Because he told me that I could not. His exact words, via sext message, were: U can’t quit.

Michael Kelley, the only time you may use the word “quit” in my presence is when you say to me, “I wish I knew how to quit you.”




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Yes, the individual did cry last night. Michael Kelley had a long talk with her. He failed, of course, to inform me of this until today – and even then I had to ask him. It appears that she cried because she was embarrassed by her performance. She also told Michael Kelley that I pushed her too hard. I suppose that only she can determine if this were indeed the case.

I am nonetheless often tempted to quit coaching. Here are my reasons:

1. I “coach” weekdays from 8 to 5, as I am the director of a training department.
2. Coaching takes away from my own training. If I’m serious about competing, that time might be better spent on working on my own weaknesses.
3. Even when I’m not coaching others, I’m often coaching myself. I often workout by myself, and self-reliant when I’m working out with others.
4. I hate Michael Kelley.

I haven’t rested since Wednesday of last week. I did intend to rest today, but instead did tomorrow’s strength. I did, at least, arrive at the box extra early, 5:30 to be exact, to work on mobility. I began squats at 6, and had the honor of being joined by Michelle, Lauren, and Timmy.

Front Squats
Work up to 3 reps heavier than last week.

I warmed up with 95 and 135, and then lifted 3 reps @ 175, 185, and 195#. I recorded all of the sets.

As I was lifting the set @ 175# I thought, I lifted 170 as my three rep max at the Fitness Challenge held just two and a half years ago. Now it’s a warmup set. How times have changed.

The last rep @ 195# felt heavy, and it was a struggle to lift – but lift it I did! I sent the video to Michael Kelley, and his one-word response was “nice”. Thank you, Michael Kelley, for that meaningful and constructive feedback.

Uhm, that’s 88% of 1RM and 134% of bodyweight.

High Bar Back Squats
20 reps heavier than last week

I’m getting pretty close to being so done with this. I wrote “175 or 180” in my notebook, as I had lifted 175# last week. I put 180# on the bar. To ensure that I achieved proper depth, I began by doing two reps at a time. I’ve reviewed the recording quite a few times. Reps 1 & 2 were good. Reps 3 & 4 were as well. Reps 5 & 6 were questionable, although I do think I broke parallel. Reps 7 & 8 were much better, as I had rested longer before starting. The bar nonetheless remained on my back. Believe me, I was very, very tempted to rack that damn bar. It took every ounce of resolve not to. I kept telling myself, Make it to ten reps, then you’ll be halfway there. Rep 9 was good. What? A single? Indeed, and all remaining reps were singles – and all were good! After the 15th rep I thought, That’s it. That’s all you have. Rack the damn bar. Fortunately for me, Timmy began to observe. I wasn’t going to rack the bar if he was watching me. No freaking way. For my 17th rep he provided encouragement. “Come on,” he said. I replied, “Two more.”

After I completed the last rep, racked the bar, and yelled, “Dear, God!” I kneeled to the floor. Perhaps CrossFit is my religion.

Uhm, that’s 78% of 1RM and 124% of bodyweight.

Michael Kelley arrived and began to clean the bars. I practiced headstands. Today was a great day for headstands, as I felt weightless when I was vertical! I called to Michelle, “Michelle, am I vertical?” Michael Kelley, thinking he was humorous, said, “He wants to know if he’s straight. He’s not straight.” That’s as witty as he gets. Sad, but true.

As I did tomorrow’s strength today, that means I get to do sled pulls tomorrow!

I was honored to coach a group of newbies, along with Jeff, during open gym tonight. Jeff, Shin, Patrick, Angela, Jane, and Parijat. The certainly got a feel for CrossFit! They completed four, 3-min rounds of AMRAP of 3 burpees, 6 box jumps, 9 KB swings, and 12 air squats. They rested exactly sixty seconds between rounds. The women kicked asses and took names. I forgot to take a “before” picture, but I took some during and after. Enjoy!


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