I’m a quitter.

For a slight change of pace, today’s blog is going to focus more on my coaching inabilities. You read that correctly: inabilities. More in a moment, so keep reading…

I started my morning by coaching the 6am session, and, as has become the norm, there were many in attendance. How many? Fourteen, including two visitors from Georgia, Dan and Karyn.

We started the day with Daft Punk on Pandora and some new or not frequently done activities, including duck walks, opposing arm swings, bear crawls, and one-legged holds – with eyes closed.

We reviewed proper form for dead-lifts, and then athletes attempted to complete 3 reps heaver than last week. I saw some impressive lifts, as well as some form breaks. (I won’t mention any names, Burt. Oh, wait, I just did.) I’m enjoying getting to know and coach some of the newbies, including Timmy (of course he’s first on my list!), Chad2 (I refer to Chad A as Chad1), Amy, Will, and Heather. I remember when I was just starting out, and how important is was for the coach to provide direction and support. I promise to continue to do so – if I continue coaching.

A strength I have when coaching is keeping control of the session. Even though there were many present, the metcon went smoothly.

Except, that is, for my lack of correct instruction for the plate burpees. Having done what were called plate burpees in the past, I instructed folks to do a burpee and then jump and land on the plate. Uhm, I was immediately corrected by the regulars who evidently had done plate burpees in the past. I have no recollection of having done so. Anyhow, you do a burpee, lift and press the plate overhead, bring the plate to the floor, lather, rinse, and repeat.

I should have tendered my resignation at the moment. I would have avoided the debacle that happened later. Let’s call that my first strike. Everyone knows that when you get three strikes, you’re out.

The metcon looked tough, and I tried my best to encourage people. Nonetheless, I asked for a show of hands at the end of the day for those present who thought I should be fired. All hands were raised. (This may or may not have happened.)

As I was unable to leave work in time to make it to the start of the 5:15 session, I decided that I would do the metcon when the 5:15ers, including Jeff, started, and dead-lifts afterwards.

4 Rounds for Total Reps
1 min Plate Burpees
1 min Toes-2-Bar
1 min Double Unders
1 min rest

I used a 45# plate and substituted toes through ring for toes to bar. Why, you ask? Because my damn left shoulder is hurting, just behind that bumpy thingy. Know what I mean? Ugh.

I had no other goal than to work continuously, and I did not achieve this goal. Whaaaaaat? I. Did not. Achieve. This goal.

Jeff and Brooke (read her blog!) have become BFFs, so I didn’t want to come between them. Jeff was to Brook’s right, and I was to her left.

The first round of plate burpees began, and it seemed as if everyone was going at the same pace, for I could hear the plates being placed (or dropped) on the floor. I think I completed 14 reps the first round, and I do believe that Brooke completed almost if not as many as I did. I completed the first round of toes through rings unbroken, although I can’t recall how many. My damn jump rope was tangled, and it took me a good 15 seconds to untangle. I also once again struggled getting double unders started. Once I did, I went on and on. I completed a total of 100 reps total for the first round.

Plate burpees went smoothly for the remainder of the rounds, and I completed a minimum of 12. My mistake was dropping from the rings – when I really didn’t need to do so. It was always a struggle to grasp the swinging rings.

Oh, as an aside, Paul A. was doing “Fran” and he was directly across from me during the first two rounds of the metcon. I was as focused on him as I was on my own performance, and there were many times when I had to keep myself from coaching.

As another aside, I shall not comment upon the Kristin-Thomas interactions. You two really need to get a room, albeit a room with a GHD machine.

Double unders went reasonably well the last three rounds.

I completed 100, 90, and 92 reps for a total of 382. (I can see you smirking now, Michael Kelley. You are an ass.)

I’m frustrated. There, I said it. I lifted 225, 255, 275, and 315#. I attempted 325#, and failed. I lowered the weight to 320#, and failed again. I also realize that at this stage of my development my gains are going to be incremental and not exponential (as my gains were when I was beginning).

For whatever reason, I was compelled to offer to coach the 6:30 session metcon. I know not why. Michael Kelley, of course, quickly took me up on my offer. Imagine that.

There were at least three people present that I don’t recall coaching, although I might have done so during a Community WOD.

During the third round I said, “Write down your time and rest for a minute” – after toes to bar! Athletes were smart enough to correct me as they completed double unders.

That’s strike two.

One of the individuals that I know I haven’t coached before spent time at the beginning of the second round putting her hair up in a rubber band. “Well, then,” I thought, “that’s a waste of time.” She did the same thing at the start of the third round, and I said, “You need to spend less time fixing your hair and more time working.” Ouch. That must have hurt.

At the end of the WOD I saw her crying, and I think it’s safe to assume that it was caused by my harsh words. Let’s see, I have masters in Communication Studies with an emphasis in interpersonal communication, I’ve been a teacher/trainer for well over twenty-five years, and I’m a huge proponent of Situational Leadership. And I said, “You need to spend less time fixing your hair and more time working.”

Strike three. I’m out. Out, out, out.

I know that no one can make someone feel an emotion – it’s merely a reaction to something someone has said or done. In this particular instance what I said and did.

We’re starting Westside Barbell next week, yet I feel the overwhelming urge to take a one- or two-week hiatus from all things CrossFit.

Oh, earlier today Michael Kelley asked if I was a quitter. Uhm, I quit running races, and not just marathons but all races, about two years ago. So, yes, I’m a quitter.


2 thoughts on “I’m a quitter.

  1. I hope the girl you said that to follows your blog. She needs to know that this morning I said, “Sounds like something I would have done.” and “I would have cried too!” But not for the reasons you believe…it was not your harsh words, it was more like…

    Paul: ‘spend less time fixing your hair and more time working’
    Girl: Her thought process that lasted about 2 seconds…
    1. I can’t believe I wore this stupid, old , stretched out rubber band…I KNOW I will forget to throw it out…again!!!!) 2. I wasted precious seconds messing around with it…damn it! 3. I have GOT to get a haircut. 4. I really want to switch hairdressers but the one i want to go to is too expensive (Claire) 5. I really need to make more money to afford a new hairdresser (Claire) but I don’t want to switch jobs 6. I should switch jobs since I am so bored at work 7. I have a so much boring work at my job that I dont’ have time to get a haircut 8. if my hair wasn’t so long i wouldn’t have to wear a stupid rubber band when i workout 9. but i’d probably have to wear a clip or something…i wonder which is worse for working out? O. M. G!!! I HATE MY HAIR!! (tears begin to flow)

    You still have one strike left.

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