As a favor to my BVFFF, Michael Kelley (and as I also only worked a half day at my real job), I coached the 6am and then attended the 7:15am session at CFZ. Burt, I will continue to keep my eyes on you. Claire, you continue to be awesome and will be even more so if you keep up your chest. Alex, I’m confident that you can string together more than one round of toes to bar. Thomas, very nice job with toes to bar. For front squat, remember: form, consistency, and then intensity.

I know, I know, faithful readers want to know about yours truly, not some nobodies! I can’t say as I blame you.

Michael Kelley was in a particularly good mood this morning. Let’s see if his mood gets worse as the temperature rises.

Front Squat
1-3 Warm-Up Sets
80% x 3
85% x 3
All percentages are based on 3RM.

I based on 190# 3RM; thus sets @ 155, 165, & 175#. While lifts were solid, weight felt heavy today.

High Bar Back Squat
1×20, 90% of 20RM

I based on 170#; thus I lifted 155#. Again, weight felt heavy today. I mentioned so to Michael Kelley and he said, “Heavy dead-lifts and high box jumps yesterday. I can’t imagine why you’re tired today.” He is and has such a HUGE ass.

10 Toes-2-Bar Knees-2-Elbows
10 Burpees

I mentioned to Michael Kelley that I had had enough of toes to bar earlier in the week when I visited without a doubt my absolute favorite CrossFit box ever CrossFit908. He said, “Then do knees to elbows. I think knees to elbows are more difficult than toes to bar anyhow.” So do I, Michael Kelley. My goal wasn’t really to do a more difficult met-con, but I could think of no reason not to do so.

I love burpees. I truly do. I think every met-con should have burpees.

My goal was to complete all rounds unbroken. I did, bitches. I ensured that my knees touched my elbows, not some other part of my shapely arms, and that I jumped at the top of each and every burpee. I truly did just that, bitches.

I completed 6 rounds + 10 K2E and 5 burpees.

Michael Kelley said, “So, do you think you’re better than everyone else?” I did not put my score on the whiteboard, and I doubt that I will ever do so, bitches.

I did jokingly say, “I got more rounds than all of you.” Kabool, who was getting ready for the next session said, “You’re a coach. You should.” I replied, “I’m no longer a coach, Kabool. Today was my last day. I gave Michael Kelley my notice two weeks ago.”

As an aside, I don’t think that being a coach necessarily means that you’re one of the best athletes in any box. We all have strengths (for me, endurance) and weaknesses (for me, strength). We can all improve. Michael Kelley, for example, could lose a few hundred pounds.

Nathanael then shared a story of the time he pierced his own nipple. I honestly had to quit listening, as I thought I was going to vomit. My nipples hurt just thinking about it.

Early this afternoon Michael Kelley sexted me asking how many rounds I completed. It’s not a competition, loser. (He completed 6 + 10 T2B.)

One thought on “Burpees!

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