Wall Ball Burpees

I had a deep tissue massage at Athletic Edge yesterday afternoon, and I will go on record as stating that Lal, massage therapist extraordinaire, is a god. He spent much time working on my left bicep and shoulder, and showed me some activities to loosen tight shoulder socket. I’m feeling some relief, but am going to see an orthopedist a week from today for safe measure.

I’m trying to determine why, even though my left shoulder hurt while doing 120 pull-ups yesterday, I had more range of motion and experienced less pain yesterday afternoon (even before the massage). Huh?

Lazy-ass Michael Kelley has not yet sent me this week’s WODs, so I didn’t know what was in store for us today. (Yes, he posted on Facebook and crossfitzeal.com, but not until late last night.)

He did walk us through a rather good mobility session, focusing on opening up the shoulders. He also touched my inappropriately thrice.

Press 4×5 (sets across), heavier than last week

I haven’t done presses in ages, and had every intention (I seem to like that word) of doing bench press instead. Given that pull-ups helped with mobility, I reasoned that presses might as well. I lifted 5 reps of 65, 75, 85, & 95#. I experienced some pain in left shoulder. I lifted single reps of 100, 105, & 110. I wanted to attempt 115# but ran out of time.

10 Burpee Wall Ball, 20# wall ball, 10’ target
20 Medicine Ball Sit-Ups

Yup, you read that right. Evidently, Michael Kelley dreamt about burpee wall balls and medicine ball sit-ups. I think he needs to come get out more. He demonstrated burpee wall balls, and we were allowed to give it a try. Here’s what you do. Begin standing and holding the wall ball, drop the wall ball to the floor as you kick your feet to plank position. Complete a pushup on wall ball. Kick your legs about and around the wall ball, landing in a full squat. Rise and throw the ball to 10’ target. Catch the ball and bring it to the floor. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Michael Kelley then demonstrated medicine ball sit-ups. You probably already figured out this one… Hold the same medicine ball around chest and complete a sit-up. Michael Kelley had the audacity to accuse me of not having the soles of my feet together and not having my feet close enough to my body. I’m certain he merely wanted another excuse to fondle touch me.

My first goal was to complete all rounds unbroken. The second goal was to have an even split, i.e., note number of reps at 5-minutes and do an equal number the last 5 minutes. Did I reach my goals? Read on.

Chad and I were side by side for the workout. The clock counted down from 10 seconds, and we began. Chad finished the 10 burpees wall ball shots 1 rep ahead of me, and thus started medicine ball sit-ups slightly ahead of me as well. That was the last time he would have the lead. I focused on doing sit-ups as quickly as possible while still maintaining proper form, and my speed was much, much faster than Chad’s. Right, Chad?

For wall ball shots, I focused on making sure that I grabbed the wall ball as it descended and not merely letting it drop to the floor. (I’m talking to you, Chad.) I did so for all but the last wall ball shot. I would then kick the medicine ball to the Abmat.

During the third or fourth round I heard Michael Kelley say, “Good job, Michelle! Nice work, Chad!” And then deafening silence… I shouted, “Good job, Paul!” He then had the audacity to say, “Don’t just let the ball drop to the floor. Catch it in your hands and bring it to the floor to do your burpee.” And then he (wait for it…) accused me of letting the ball drop to the floor! I said, “I’ve only allowed the ball to drop to the floor after the final rep. I’ve caught it every firetrucking (that’s not the exact word I used) time, Michael Kelley. I lost at least 5 seconds making this statement. That’s more than enough time to do one medicine ball sit-up. Read on.

Michael Kelley stated, “Five minutes. You’re halfway there.” I had 2 more sit-ups to do to finish the third round. I through, “Well, there’s no way I’m going to get 6 rounds. Keep working steadily nonetheless. You should be able to get 5 rounds plus 16 sit-ups. Beside, you’ve already crushed Chad.” And then I giggled out loud, although I doubt Chad heard me.

I kept working steadily and continued sweating profusely. With 2 minutes remaining, Michael Kelley said, “Get in another round.” I was mid-way through the fifth round of sit-ups. He said, “At least do the wall ball shots.” Just the wall ball shots, Michael Kelley? Do you even know me? Did I really need 90 seconds to do 10 burpee wall balls? Again, do you even know me? It was then that I reset my goal to finish round 6. And I came very close to doing so…

I powered through burpee wall balls and then began medicine ball sit-ups. I increased the speed and intensity, and kept an eye on the clock, but only managed to complete 19 reps. I shouted, “Firetruck!” when the clock beeped. Michael Kelley had a sh!t-eating grin on his face and asked, “You only got 19 reps?” I firetrucking hate Michael Kelley. If he hadn’t insisted upon spending 5 seconds arguing with me I could’ve gotten in 1 more sit-ups.

Total = 5 rounds + 29 reps; 60 burpee wall ball shots, 119 medicine ball sit-ups.

100 Face Pulls
100 Tricep Pushdowns

When I hear “accessory” I think of a messenger bag (for me) or a purse (for Thomas). I don’t think of face pulls or tricep pushdowns. I won’t even begin to explain. Suffice it to say that I used a green band and did 4 sets of 25 reps.

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