Cheesecake Factory

Michael Kelley's SECOND birthday present

I awakened at 4am, and had every intention of attending the 6am WOD with a CFer from work, Amber. I received the following sext from Michael Kelley at exactly 5:02am: Is there any way u can coach 6am and come wod tonight? I let him know that I could and would, and that he would owe me. While I didn’t ask for the reason he would be unable to coach, he nonetheless provided: Cheesecake factory + 6 wks of paleo = me puking since 3am.

This is reason #363 why I hate Michael Kelley.

I did indeed coach the 6am session, and very much enjoyed doing so. I sometimes wonder, though, how folks feel and/or what they think about my coaching… Chad, John, Scott, Lauren, Sandra, and Claire, along with Amber, attended. Claire did her first squat in ages (as she’s recovering from an injury) and John completed 10 unbroken toes to bar! Well done!

I attended the 6:15pm session, as did Jeff, and Michael Kelley “coached.” I put the term in quotation marks as he wasn’t yet quite himself. I gave him his second birthday present. He opened the gift bag and said, “These will be good for the gym.” Uhm, I didn’t buy them for the gym, Michael Kelley, I bought them for you. As Jeff noted, “Paul puts much more time and thought into gifts he purchases for you than into gifts he purchases for me.” That’s not entirely true. Reason #364 why I hate Michael Kelley.

High Bar Back Squat
10 @ 50% of 200# (100#)
8 @ 65% (130#)
8 @ 70% (140#)
8 @ 75% (150#)
8 @ 80% (160#)

There were 10 in attendance, so I had to pair with someone for HBBS. At Michael Kelley’s suggestion, I paired with his fraternal twin, Thomas. I discovered that Thomas not only sucks as grammar, he also sucks at math. I will begrudgingly admit that I somewhat enjoyed partnering with Thomas. He struggled on his set of 8 @ 75%, but did awesome on his last set of 8 @ 80%. I will give myself some credit, as I spotted and coached him through the last set. Michael Kelley ignored me during all of my sets of HBBS. Reason #365.

I felt very strong this evening, and all reps of lifts felt solid and powerful. Was it because I rested yesterday? I don’t know. Was it because I worked out later in the day? I don’t know. I will nonetheless increase my estimated 1RM to 205#.


AMRAP 10 minutes
500m Row
Then, in remaining time:
10 deadlifts, 1 x BW
Max unbroken toes to bar

Complete 500m row. In remaining time, complete as many rounds of couplet as possible. Each time you drop from the bar, you must go back to deadlifts. Score is total # of toes-to-bar.

Having coached this WOD just this morning, I was biting at the bit to complete. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a “Paul WOD”.

I rowed 500m in 1:44. Yup, 1 minute and 44 seconds – and I wasn’t even trying to row fast. Again, for whatever reason I felt very strong.

I completed 6 rounds of 145#deadlifts unbroken, and lifts felt easy and almost effortless.

I completed 6 rounds of toes to bar in reps of 14, 10, 9, 9, 9, & 8 for a total of 59 toes to bar. I really, really wanted to complete 9 toes to bar for the last round, but my grip gave with 10 seconds still remaining. I did not, I repeat, did not run to the bar and do another deadlift or 2.

Tomorrow is the first Open WOD of the CrossFit Games. I could not conceivably be less excited and/or interested. 7-minute AMRAP of burpees jumping to 6” above reach. Really? Yes, I’m very fast with burpees, and yes, I’ll likely do well. I am not, however, the least bit interested in doing so, and honestly have no motivation to perform at my best. My strategy is to just treat tomorrow’s WOD like any other WOD.

One thought on “Cheesecake Factory

  1. “I did indeed coach the 6am session, and very much enjoyed doing so. I sometimes wonder, though, how folks feel and/or what they think about my coaching…”
    I really enjoy your coaching Paul! Mike and yourself both do a stellar job! I really do enjoy your close attention to proper form…”as a chiropractor”…I know how important this is…you guys are a big part of why I have a new found addiction to CrossFit:)

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