Time Stood Still

I was looking forward to resting today, but rest just wasn’t in the cards. Xander awakened me at 4 to do his business. I let him outside, and crawled back into bed. He would have none of this, and he insisted that I take him for a walk. As I suspected, he had to poop, and he doesn’t like to poop unless I’m there to praise him for doing so. I am like Xander, and Jack is my me. More in a moment.

I was wide awake and I knew that today’s skill was clean pulls—a skill I desperately need to work on improving. It was meant to be.

Jack, Craig, Michelle, and I arrived early, and as we had CFD to ourselves I asked Jack if I could play a song for Michelle. He obliged. I said, “Michelle, this song is by one of our favorite artists, and it reminds me of me.” I played LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It.”

Girl, look at that body.

Girl, look at that body.

Girl, look at that body.

Girl, look at that body.

I work out.


Craig and Michelle. I like Michelle.

We laughed, we cried, we made fun of Troie. Craig scored 1 point for wearing an orange shirt. He lost 5 points for having a picture of Aquaman on said shirt. Final score -4 points. Fail.

As mentioned, today’s skill was clean pulls. Jack instructed us to grab a bar and gather around as he reviewed proper form.

Me: Are you going to wear your weight-lifting shoes, Renee?

Renee: Yes. Why do you ask?

Me: Because if you are, I am, too.

I also wanted her to notice my very short shorts. She made no comment regarding my very short shorts and I was very, very disappointed.

Jack asked us to demonstrate our clean pull abilities. I noticed that many folks weren’t using a hook grip. So as to not appear that I was coaching over Jack, I asked, “Should we use a hook grip?” Before Jack could respond, another coach who was present said (in a condescending tone, I might add), “You always use a hook grip for cleans, Paul.” I replied, “I know that. I just wanted to make sure that everyone else did as well.” I do know that you always use a hook grip. Having coached a WOD that included power cleans just this past Sunday, rest assured that I watched many youtube recordings of cleans, and I carefully reviewed the progressions that I learned during my level 1 cert.

Clean Pulls


Jack informed us that the weight for clean pulls should be between our 1RM for power cleans and dead-lifts. That’s quite a big range, as that’s between 135 and 330 lb. I warmed up by completing the following: 5 reps of 75 and 5 reps of 95. I constantly asked Jack to watch my form. In other words, I wanted him to see me poop, and to praise me when I did so. He reminded me to fully extend my hips before shrugging my shoulders. We discussed, and I had somewhat of a breakthrough. I have been focused on where the bar is in relation to my thighs as my cue to shrug instead of when my hips fully extend. My form immediately improved, and I was praised quite a few times for pooping.  I completed 4 reps of 165, 2 reps of 175, 2 reps of 195, and 2 reps of 200.

As we were putting away the bars and plates, I said to Renee, “You didn’t notice my short shorts.” She replied, “Oh, yes, I most certainly did.” “Why didn’t you say anything about them?” I asked. Renee said, “Because you’re like a little kid. If I tell you not to do something, you’re just going to do it more.”

That Renee is one smart cookie!

I truly enjoyed working on clean pulls, and learned much. Thanks, Jack! You’re my second favorite coach. I am my favorite coach.

Uhm, did I mention that I completed 79 weighted pull-ups just yesterday morning?

Metabolic Conditioning

AMRAP in 20 minutes:

Max rep pull-ups

100m farmer’s walk (52 lb KB each hand)

I once again felt rushed getting ready for the met-con, and didn’t claim a spot on the pull-up bar or get a pair of 52 lb kettle bells. Max and Griff were kind enough to share their kettle bells. Thanks, Griff!

My goals were to complete at last 5 pull-ups per round and to not drop the kettle bells during farmer’s walk. I completed 91 pull-ups and 14 rounds of farmer’s walk. That’s 1400m, i.e., almost a mile.

This met-con felt like it would never end, and this may have been the longest 20 minutes of my entire life. I completed pull-ups in reps of 10, 7, 6, 6, 7, 6, 6, 4 (I was sweating so much that I slipped off of the bar), 6, 6, 6, 7, 6, 5, and 3 (I once again slipped off of the bar).

Ashley Davidson may very well be my new favorite Ashley. We were completing the met-con at a very similar pace, and were usually close to each other during the farmer’s walks/jogs. I reminded her to keep her head up, shoulders relaxed, arms by her side, and to jog—and she made sure to remind me of the same. Why jog, you ask? Because the sooner you could put down the damn kettle bells the better it was. My forearms were already beginning to ache by the fourth round. Yes, the fourth round, and I had 10 more rounds to go. This was a true test of one’s grip strength as well. As I told Jack, it’s obvious that I use my right hand more than my left hand, as I had a more difficult time keeping hold of the kettle bell with my left hand. Let’s see, I use my right hand to write, my left hand to draw and mouse-click, I wear my watch on my right arm, when I race I lead with my left arm. I guess I use my right hand more to **********. I also use my right hand to ***** my *******.

 Dear 6:15ers,

 Hello! How are you? I am fine. I humbly apologize for grunting, swearing, and crying during this morning’s met-con.

 Your friend,


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